Finished And Hannah Wept: Infertility, Adoption, and the Jewish Couple by Michael Gold. It's currently out of print, and was first published in 1988... so, the information is a bit dated (IVF was apparently still highly experimental at the time the book was published). I enjoyed and appreciated its expansive breadth of material, but didn't feel neccesarily as satisfied emotionally reading it.
The book covers halakha (Jewish law) pretty extensively, and how different passages in Torah, Talmud, and Midrash basically permit just about anything when it comes to infertility treatments. Sometimes I felt as though the book got too bogged down into technicality in terms of Jewish law; for the Orthodox couple, I can see the relevance and importance of finely splicing out exact parameters of what is and is not permitted by Jewish law (treatments on the Sabbath, the use of donor eggs or sperm, the acceptability of semen testings, for example). But for the less observant Jew looking to find comfort in her faith, And Hannah Wept delved just a bit too far for my taste.
Is it a good resource? Yes. Do I feel reconnected to my faith? Absolutely. Does it offer the latest information about the latest advances out there? Not so much. But what it does is it contextualizes the experience of infertility through the Jewish perspective in a way that makes the most sense according to Jewish law.
What I most appreciated about this book was that it doesn't place the burden of fault with the infertile couple, as I've encountered in some other Jewish resources. True, 3 of the 4 Matriarchs were infertile, and it was their prayers that were answered by God that ultimately restored their fertility, but Gold acknowledges this is a not a realistic approach to modern issues of infertility. He argues that Judaism teaches couples facing IF to pursue aggressively, in all their power, to be able to fulfil God's first commandment of "be fruitful and multiply." This is one of the few Jewish resources on IF where I don't feel like I brought this on myself, or that God is testing me in some cruel way.
Still nervous as hell about next Friday. Trying to stay positive and keep myself as distracted as possible.
6 comments:
Sounds like a very good resource. On a somewhat related note, Israel is one of the only countries that has extensive law on surrogacy. Among other things, surrogates must be single (not married) and must be of the same religion as the intended parents. I've read that some Israelis go to the U.S. to find a surrogate because of all these rules. But on the other hand, at least it is legalized there.
Really interesting post. It's amazing for me to contemplate, as my church (Catholic) does not support ART. Obviously I don't agree!
Thinking good thoughts for you for your appointment next week!
@ FET: The book has extensive information about Jewish law as it relates to adoption. The strongest view seemed to be that adoption is the easiest solution to IF, as IVF presents so many technicalities as it relates to halakha. It also presents an interesting historical context to Jewish law and adoption- there was no biblical Hebrew word FOR adoption, and was actually created in modernity (ametz). Really really interesting stuff.
@ Barefoot: The author does address some of the Christian response to IF in the opening chapter. To some degree, certain aspects of ART aren't wholeheartedly supported by more Orthodox Jewish viewpoints, such as semen testing. We know, as women struggling with IF, that semen testing should be done right away. More conservative Jewish viewpoints hold that SA should be done as a last resort! It all comes down to the passage about Onan (Genesis 38:8-10) and the "wasting of seed." I think my most profound challenge, in approaching this from a religious perspective, is how not supportive some tenets of religion can be- when you're turning to them in your greatest hour of personal need. But if I can keep finding positive resources like Gold's "Hannah Wept" then I'll take what I can get :)
Miriam,
I am so sorry to hear of your POF diagnosis. I got mine almost one year ago and I remember all too well how devastating it was. I cried for 2 days straight. I guess I just felt like it was the end of the road for my dreams of becoming a mommy.
I'm not sure exactly what your FSH was, but you may still have a chance with spontaneous ovulation or ART procedures, and there ARE always other options. I grieved for awhile over the thought of not having my own bio children, but I eventually became very excited about being able to experience pregnancy through DE. Please email me at arb2 at hotmail dot com if you'd ever like to talk. I am wishing you all the best at your appointment on the 24th. I, like you, went into that follow-up appointment knowing what to expect, but it's stil hard to hear. I remember staring very hard at the ceiling and trying my hardest not to cry. Just remember, you WILL get through this. Many ((HUGS)). Please email me if there is anything I can do or you just want to talk to someone who understands.
Hi Miriam,
Another POFer here!!!....
I know exactly how you feel, been there!!!
I was also dx with POF on Nov. 2006, and then hypothyroidism,but then after taking just one pack of estrogen supplements (they are like BCP, but are primarily estrogen as opposed to BCK which are a combo between estrogen and progesterone) I started cycling on my own again. It was really unexpected, and we took advantage and TTC and were able to conceive on our own.
After our daughter was born and I stopped breastfeeding I started to cycle on my own again, I had 3 cycles and then I stopped again, and here we are....
In my blog are all the details, if you feel the need to read more.
Good luck on your appointment on Friday!
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