An Overview of Adopting in Massachusetts: Part 2

The second half of this series will focus on the aspects of adoption once a match is made and the baby comes home. Part 1 of the series covering agency selection, homestudy, profile, and matching, can be found here.

Meeting with Birthparents
Once a match is made, it is encouraged that the adoptive parents and the birthparents make a connection and have a chance to meet. As we learned during the panel discussion, this might not happen before birth, as was one couple's experience. The birthmother just couldn't meet with them. It wasn't until a day after the child was born that the birthmother finally met the adoptive parents. The purpose of this is to build those memories that will be so vital to your adopted child's story later on. This is also a good chance to discuss openness, and to figure out what that means for both the birthparents and adoptive parents. As Betsy and Dale mentioned, about 75% of adoptions are semi-open and the remaining 25% fully open.

Openness
Open adoption can mean very different things to different people. For some, it means regular opportunities for the birthparents to interact with the child. For others, it might mean regular letters and pictures. Some adoption triads email. Others correspond through their agencies. Openness occurs on a continuum and it varies for every individual triad. Dale was quick to point out that open adoption is not the same as co-parenting, rather, it provides an avenue for adoptive children to learn as much of their birthfamily's story as possible and to weave it into their own personal history. Betsy talked about how it's common for adoptive parents to leave letters and photos with their individual agency, and that the birthparents may pick up these packets at their leisure, as the need to check in arises. The agency also keeps copies of all correspondence so that the child may see a record of communication between their adoptive parents and their birthparents. The key thing to remember is that openness is about information sharing, and not to take away from the validity or experience of either set of parents. It should also be interesting to note: Massachusetts has legally enforceable Open Adoption Agreements, should all parties agree to it. A successful open adoption, as Dale put it, is one where birthparents are like those extended family you don't see very often but you love very much.

Termination of Parental Rights and Legal Risk
Just to reiterate: these processes apply to birthparents local to the state of Massachusetts. Once the child is born, in the state of Massachusetts, a birthmother has 96 hours* to consent to the termination of her parental rights. Given that most normal vaginal births only require the mother and child to be hospitalized for a maximum of 48 hours and that most birthmothers do not want to take the baby home, this leaves an interesting quandary: where does the newborn go? Short-term foster-care is available for the remaining 48 hours is available, however, most birthmothers would rather the child be immediately placed with the adoptive parents. However, if an adoptive couple takes the baby home from the hospital, there are still 2 days for the birthmother to change her mind in the state of MA. This situation is called legal risk. Legal risk also includes a revocation period (if applicable in that particular state where the child is born; there is no revocation period in MA) and during the finalization period.

If the birthmother has received a good amount of counseling and a firm relationship established with the adoptive parents, it is not likely she will change her mind, but it's a real possibility. Situations could change at the last minute: a birthfamily member agrees to help raise the child, for example- and then the adoption cannot be completed. This is called a fall-through. Sadly, these do happen, so that's why it's vital to tease out everything before the birth as much as possible. This also poses a financial risk. Full-service agencies that charge a flat fee absorb the cost of the loss. Per-fee agencies will refund only what is left in the birthmother's escrow account that hasn't been paid out already; a fall-through in this situation may cost the adoptive parents anywhere from $2K-6K in lost monies.

*There are some cases where a birthmother is given more time. An adoption agency might receive a call from a social worker at the hospital, working with a woman who is in labor and has expressed in that moment she would like to create an adoption plan. Given that the agency won't have sufficient enough time to screen and match the birthmother to a waiting family, more time is given to the birthmother for her to be able to consent to termination of her rights.

When the baby is born, a birth certificate is issued in the name given by the birthmother, listing the birthmother and birthfather (if the birthmother chooses to name a birthfather). Adoptions occurring in other states have differing periods of how long a birthmother has to consent to termination of her rights.

Post-Placement Requirements
Regardless of where the baby was born, once the baby comes home with the adoptive parents, they are legally required to be supervised for the first six months after the baby is born in the state of Massachusetts. Typically, this means a social worker visits the home at months one, three, and five, and the other months are through phone check-ins. Betsy said that these visits are mostly to check in on the new parents, see how they and baby are adjusting to the newness, and to ooh and ahh and talk about the baby's latest tricks and accomplishments. Once the six-month supervised period is complete, the agency will apply for a court date to finalize the adoption. If a birthfather has been named, they will attempt to contact him to notify him of the impending adoption. Often, this is in teeny-tiny print in the legal notices section of the area newspaper where the birthmother believes conception took place.

Typically, it takes about 3 months to get a court date. The judge reviews the homestudy and all paperwork and declares the adoption finalized and legal. An adoption decree and amended birth certificate listing the adoptive parents and the child's new name are issued. The original birth certificate kind of disappears into the ether; it's held on file at the agency, but as a matter of public record, it's as if it didn't exist. In Massachusetts, the post-placement finalization process takes about 9 months from the time the child is born. It is possible, and oft times cheaper and faster, to have adoptions finalized in other states (i.e., Florida only requires 12 weeks to finalize including just two supervised visits).

An important point about naming: it is generally agreed that it is vital to the birthmother's closure process to name her child. It is up to the adoptive parents as to whether they will keep or incorporate that name, but usually, adopted children will have multiple middle names. Betsy and Dale both agreed that it's a good idea to incorporate the original name should the child go researching their birthparents and wonder, "Why did you change the name I was given?" Certainly a valid point to consider.

And... that's it!

To recap: adopting in Massachusetts consists of about 6 steps:

1. Finding an agency.
2. Completing a homestudy.
3. Completing an adoptive parent profile.
4. Making a match with birthparent(s).
5. Birthparent(s) terminating their rights.
6. Finalizing the adoption.

Top 10 Points to Remember:
1. Your vision of your child can change over time, allowing the possibility for a wider net of birthparents to see your profile.
2. After considering the wait and cost, make sure your agency is a good fit for your needs.
3. Be open and honest during the homestudy process. Just be yourself!
4. Matching is a little bit of strategy and a lot of luck and timing.
5. Openness is not co-parenting and is about sharing information over time.
6. Even if your adoption will be semi-open, it's important to establish an initial relationship with the birthmother to add to that child's family story.
7. Carefully weigh the legal risks involved at every step of the adoption process.
8. Be ethical.
9. Fall-throughs happen.
10. All of the paperwork, stress, and waiting will totally be worth it when baby comes home and the adoption is finalized.

To quote Kristen Howerton at Grown In My Heart:

"If you adopt, then you will be a real parent.
If you adopt, then you will be abundantly blessed with a child."

I hope you found this information helpful. Thank you so much to Betsy Hochberg, Dale Eldridge, and RESOLVE of New England for putting together such an informative program for prospective adoptive parents. We might be a little overwhelmed at the prospects, but we are also wildly excited about this path to family building.

Have you adopted in Massachusetts? I'd love to hear from you! Drop a line in the comments.


(Photo by Joe Green via Flickr.)