What IF: Two Months Later

It all started two months ago with #ProjectIF.

Two months ago to the day, I posted my What IF? video online.


What IF? A Portrait of Infertility on Vimeo.
Two months ago, I thought I would merely post on my little corner of the internet and let the blogosphere pass me by. Two months ago, I came out of the infertility closet. True, my friends and family were more than aware of who was writing this blog. Yet, I put my name, my face, my contact information to these What IFs, to a story that's told over and over and over again in the infertility community. Two months ago, I became an infertility advocate the moment I hit "record" on my digital camera. Standing here, two months later, and looking back, I marvel at the distance I've traveled in just two months' time.

I'm writing this post as part of WEGO Health's June Blog Carnival: Your Best Health Activist Moment. Click the link to read more and to find out how you can participate! This post has allowed me to explore some of the true highlights of the past two months in my health advocacy. It's hard to just pick one: so much has happened and I've been deeply affected by them all.

The first moment was when my video went viral. In just 11 days of publishing my video online, it received 10,000 plays. Currently, it has about 17,500 plays, and grows little by slowly. A lot of that initial momentum has dropped off, to be expected. That was when I realized my advocacy work was generating buzz: people were talking, tweeting, sharing.

The second moment was when I received a call from Rebecca Flick at RESOLVE's national headquarters in Washington. You often think of national organizations as nameless, faceless giants with no real person-to-person connection between Organization with a capital O and its members. All of that bias I held was erased the moment Rebecca and I began talking. RESOLVE really is here for its members, and they work tirelessly for them whether it's providing education and support or lobbying for change. The work alone to keep RESOLVE current with social media trends is exhausting enough. When Rebecca told me I had RESOLVE's full support to spread this video to the masses, this was when I was first beginning to realize that I had embarked on something much bigger than I had originally thought.

The third moment was when I was contacted by Dr. Lawrence Nelson of the NICHD. Dr. Nelson was the first resource I turned to after I was first diagnosed with premature ovarian failure: a quick Google search brought up much of his literature and even an informational video that I posted as one of my first handful of posts on this blog. Dr. Nelson has become one of the leading experts on POF/POI in the nation, and his passion to develop comprehensive and compassionate treatment for the disease is inspiring. We have since been corresponding on ways I can bring my experience with post-diagnosis coping and healing into some kind of treatment protocol for other women diagnosed with POF/POI. Apparently, I've handled my diagnosis remarkably well for a woman of only 26 at the time. In this moment, I realized that my experience mattered to other people.

The fourth moment happened right here in my own backyard after meeting with a networking group of regional infertility professionals. I made some great connections and contacts and had a chance to brainstorm ideas, raise issues, and get feedback. The real honor came when I was asked last month to apply to the RESOLVE of New England Board of Directors, of which I was unanimously voted in last Thursday. This was when I realized the possibilities ahead of me with local advocacy efforts.

But of all the moments in the past two months? My childhood best friend sending me a message on Facebook telling me she is a three-time egg donor. A work colleague of mine (who I just goof off with 90% of the time I see him) closing the door in my office and confessing that his son was a miracle after recurrent miscarriages. The blogger who reposted my video who works in the healthcare field who changed her mind about mandated infertility treatment coverage and how it really should be covered by insurance companies. The dear friend who I had no idea was having trouble conceiving a second child. A friend of mine who I'm still getting to know who pulls me aside after a gathering one night and thanks me for posting on my blog that it's okay to feel mean and jealous and spiteful of all those big round bellies that aren't hers. The long emails from strangers telling me their stories: all of their heartbreak, triumph, and waiting- finally sharing it for the first time with someone other than their partner.

Like a sudden rain across still waters, the ripples growing and colliding with one another, the water a network of waves and movement - it was these moments of personal connection that have impacted me the most in my activism. These personal connections begin lacing and crossing one another, creating a network of support, education, activism and research that grows stronger and tighter with each connection.

What a different place at which I stand two months later... and I cannot wait to see from where I stand a year from now, so see how far the ripples have spread.

Photo by Hiroyuki Takeda via Flickr.