Have you voted for RESOLVE's Best Blog yet?

It's hard to believe it's that time of year again... RESOLVE has announced their 2011 Night of Hope Awardees and Nominees for Best Book and Best Blog! Now it's up to the blogosphere to vote for the winners. The Best Blog nominations came from this year's National Infertility Awareness Week blogger project, Bust a Myth. The four bloggers nominated - from a field of over 300 Bust a Myth submissions - rose to the top as the strongest, most eloquent voices.

I'm so excited by this year's field of nominees because I've read and interacted with some of these bloggers in the past year and it's wonderful to see them being recognized. Even if someone doesn't win, it sure does feel nice to have that nomination recognition from an organization like RESOLVE! I'd like to take the time to highlight each one, because hey - who doesn't love a little extra recognition?

RESOLVE 2011 Best Blog Nominees

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Nominee: Whitney and Erick
Bust a Myth Post: Don't minimize infertility or miscarriage
Why Whitney's Post Rocks: Whitney's post is so down-to-earth and approachable while laying the facts right out there on the table. In addition to exploring the emotional impact of both infertility and miscarriage, she leaves readers with tips for how family and friends can be supportive and sensitive in both situations.
Go vote for Whitney and Erick here!

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Nominee: from IF to when
Bust a Myth Post: the truth about resolution
Why Katie's Post Rocks: Katie's post takes us to the land distinct from - but not necessarily beyond - infertility; the land of impending parenthood. She explores how infertility never really leaves us, even if we are lucky enough to resolve in some way. She goes on to say that it's okay if that scar doesn't fade right away and that "there's no rush to heal." An incredibly moving and inspiring post, and Katie's second Best Blog nomination in as many years.
Go vote for from IF to when here! 

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Nominee: Tippy and Tidy's Tumultuous Trip to Toddlers
Bust a Myth Post: Infertility treatments are covered by insurance
Why Tippy's Post Rocks: When I finished reading her post, I just wanted to stand up and cheer. Detailing their very expensive quest to conceive, Tippy illustrates what is more the standard of healthcare costs for infertility patients, as mandated states are very much in the minority in the US. She makes one helluva case why we need more affordable access to infertility care with a one-two sucker punch of a post as a call to advocacy and action.
Go vote for Tippy here!

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Nominee: Weathering the Storm
Bust a Myth Post: I'm less of a man because I can't get my wife pregnant
Why Rain's Post Rocks: Rain did something rather unique for NIAW - she interviewed her husband. We so often assume that infertility is the result of the female partner when male infertility makes up about 30-40% of cases. In this touching and frank dialogue between husband and wife, we get to see a glimpse of how infertility plays out in the dynamic of a partnered relationship and how infertility affects the men in our lives too.
Go vote for Weathering the Storm here!

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Voting ends on July 11th, so go read these posts and cast your vote today! And don't forget to check out the four books nominated for Best Book this year. I've already reviewed Conquering Infertility by Dr. Ali Domar as part of my Infertility Summer Reading Series and my review for Phoebe Potts' Good Eggs will post tomorrow, so check back then before casting your vote for Best Book.

Happy voting and best of luck to Whitney, Katie, Tippy, and Rain!

Nat'l Infertility Awareness Week 2011 Highlight Reel

It's hard to believe that National Infertility Awareness Week is already over. What an incredible week it was! I got to meet so many new people and be exposed to so many more blogs and resources out there... it was really just a phenomenal experience. I can't believe how much more involved I was this year and I have to say, it felt great to make those connections to and to offer that kind of support to others.

After such a whirlwind week, I wanted to share some of those moments, blog posts, and other goodies around the web that stood out for me this week. I present to you my personal Highlight Reel for NIAW 2011:

The Blogosphere

• RESOLVE's Bust a Myth Campaign: there are 350 Bust an Infertility Myth posts! Nice work everyone!
• Schmutzie's brilliant piece about living childfree: Why I Made A Kid-Free List On Twitter (And What Happened When I Did)
• A stunning post, Miscarriages Are Real Losses, from Stumbling Grace. 
• More wise words from Whitney about how to support someone who's dealing with miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant death.
• The funniest myth-busting post I read all week by the ever fabulous Infertile Naomi.
• A thoughtful post from Rachel at infertility.about.com on where G-d and infertility treatment intersect.
• Reflections on the week from All Things Conceivable.
• Sonja's deeply moving blog post: When it comes down to it, I am not selfish.
• Mel over at Stirrup Queens reminds the resolved and the unresolved to cross the divide between us, as we share a unique pain in common with one another.
• And a big thank you to Fertility Blogs, who made me their Featured Blog of the Week!

Twitter

• I helped lead a little bit of a Twitter campaign to reach out to celebs to tweet their support for NIAW. I actually got a retweet from one of those celebs! Thank you, @ElisabethRohm!
• Clear Passage's #ShareHope Twitter campaign. The tweets were inspiring all week. You can read all of the #ShareHope tweets here.

Other Media

• Carrie Friedman's piece for the LA Times: What to Expect When You're Not Expecting.
• A special shoutout to my home state and neighboring county: a local piece about infertility awareness in the Gloucester County Times (NJ).
• Dr. Ali Domar and Alysyn Camerota talk about infertility awareness on Fox News.
• A special NIAW episode of The Surrogacy Lawyer show featuring Barb Collura, Executive Director of RESOLVE, Dina Roth Port, writer who wrote Infertility: The Disease We Need to Start Talking About for the Huffington Post, and Melissa Ford, Stirrup Queens blogger. It was a fascinating broadcast that gave me a lot of food for thought about whether or not people should be open with others about their infertility.

...Now what?

Just because National Infertility Awareness Week is over, it doesn't mean the work is done. The next big thing is Advocacy Day this Thursday. Believe it or not, there is still time to sign up. There are over 100 participants and at least 18 states represented... and there's room for more! Find out how you can participate in Advocacy Day either in DC or in your home state. I'll be going to DC for my very first Advocacy Day; I'm so excited! If you're going, leave me a comment or shoot me an email.

What other awesome things did you come across on the web this week? Share your resources and great NIAW finds in the comments!

RESOLVE's Advocacy Day: A Real Woman's Story

RESOLVE's Advocacy Day is one week from today on Thursday, May 5th and there's still time to sign up and participate. It might seem intimidating and overwhelming to head to our nation's capitol to speak to legislators about our needs as a community, but it can be a powerful, incredible experience for those who participate. I'll be heading down to D.C. Wednesday night to join RESOLVE in advocating on the Hill for infertility awareness a week from today. I'm a newbie to Advocacy Day too, so I wanted to share one woman's story to show you that yes, someone just like you or me can participate in Advocacy Day, with no prior experience with legislators at all.

Folks, meet Susan. You may know her as Donor Diva:

She's the proud mama to a darling boy, a fellow POF-er, and a blogger just like you and me who took the leap and participated in RESOLVE's Advocacy Day in 2009. I asked Susan to talk about her experience with RESOLVE and to tell us what the day was like.

Why did you decide to participate in Advocacy Day? 
My friend and I were both in the middle of our 2ww after our DE cycles. She suggested that we go down to DC for advocacy as a distraction. I live in Maryland so it was easy to get there.

How were you feeling about the day leading up to it? 
I was most nervous about talking with the Congressman and Senators. I was most excited about helping the infertility community. There are so many people in the infertility community that helped me I wanted to help also. RESOLVE provides you with support beforehand. They did a conference call, had papers for you to read through, and did training the morning before meetings. As long as you do your prep you will be ready to go.

Tell us what the Advocacy Day itself was like.  
My friends and I Metro-ed down to DC (we live in MD). When we arrived, we were greeted by many smiling faces. The first part of the morning was spent prepping us for our meetings and also hearing stories about peoples' journeys through infertility.

For me, the meetings were in a great progression. It started off with a big group and my last meeting was just me and one other person. It gave me a chance to warm up and gradually feel more confident. It was very exhilarating to actually speak to the Aides and have them understand our position.

It was hard for me to stay calm since this was the first time for me to do something like this. What helped was knowing that I wasn't the only one meeting with them. Also, you aren't meeting with the actually congressman/women or senator you are meeting with their aid. Also, that we were doing this for a great cause. My proudest moment was talking with other participants of advocacy day.

At the end of the day, how did you feel? 
Exhausted!

Any advice you would give to folks going to DC for the first time this year? 
Prepare yourself and read EVERYTHING that RESOLVE provides you with. This way you will be confident in all of you meetings. If you are passionate about infertility then you should go. There were several states not represented when I went and the only way we are going to make change is by getting as many people as possible involved.

Thanks Susan, for sharing your story. I hope your positive experience will inspire others to follow in your footsteps and continue the grassroots advocacy work for the infertility community on Capitol Hill. I know it's certainly made me very excited to take part a week from today!

Worried about making it down to DC? No problem! RESOLVE can prepare you to talk with your local legislators in your own home districts. I wanted to give a special shout-out to Whitney, who had an amazing experience this week meeting with legislators in her home state. Not only did she meet with her legislators, give them plenty of facts, but she actually got their support to co-sponsor a forthcoming infertility tax credit bill. Another real person, another blogger just like you and me - and she's advocated in a huge way for our community.

It is especially critical for constituents from the following states to attend, as you would meet with key members of Congress who could help us in getting the infertility tax credit bill to succeed:

• California
• Delaware
• Illinois
• Maine
• Minnesota
• New Jersey
• New York
• Pennsylvania
• Washington

Have you participated in Advocacy Day before? Sound off in the comments and share your experience with us!

If you still have questions about the day and how you can participate, what to expect - even what to wear - check out the comprehensive Advocacy Day FAQ online.

Will you join me in DC this year for Advocacy Day? 

Dispatches from My Better Half: A Guest Post by My Husband

While I'm happy to take the microphone and do all the talking, I'm stepping off the stage today to shine some light on someone who deserves just as much attention and credit: my fantastic husband, Larry. I'm blessed to have found my soulmate and to have someone who dives head and heart-first into our family-building adventures with me. I hope you'll enjoy his unique take on things as the "elusive male point of view."

. . .

For a long time, Keiko’s been asking me to write a guest post and for a long time – thanks to my unabashed sense of procrastination – I haven’t. I haven’t really known what to say. Keiko has built herself quite the readership and become a fairly prominent fixture in the infertility community. I, like many husbands in our situation, have hung back. I’ve been here to provide my unconditional love and support, but I’ve never felt it was my place to speak out. It wasn’t my body that was having havoc wreaked on it and it wasn’t my body by which I felt betrayed.

I have to say, in some ways, I think Keiko’s diagnosis was, to be cliché, a blessing in disguise. Keiko has always been the one on my arm for business events and at various other gatherings of my peers where the attendance of a spouse who knows no one is absolutely required. It’s brought me a lot of joy over the past year to be on the other side of that coin. When we go to an event for RESOLVE or anything regarding the infertility community, Keiko is the one who is in the spotlight, she is the one who is recognized for the hard work she does for this community and I’m the one on her arm. And although I know the only reason she’s even here is because of a condition she never asked for or wanted, she’s been able to turn that pain into motivation and a directed sense of purpose that I’ve never seen in her before... and for that I’m thankful. She asked me to write about my feelings regarding our whole situation, this curveball that neither of us ever expected. It’s hard to sum that up into a few paragraphs, but her strength through the whole thing has been absolutely inspiring.

When we were at the RESOLVE of New England conference last November, Keiko asked me to attend a session that was specifically for husbands of women who couldn’t conceive on their own. I agreed, begrudgingly, because you know, I’m a man. I don’t need any of that stuff. But I came out of it with two very interesting insights.

First was that I wasn’t alone in my philosophy about the whole situation. From the very beginning, I’ve always told Keiko that to me it didn’t matter how we had a family as long as we had one, and no one could stop us from doing that. I don’t care if a child is 100% genetically ours, 50%, or 0%. Genetics only get you so far in life, and to be honest, between the two of us there are plenty that don’t need to get passed on. What really matters is imparting the knowledge and, dare I say, wisdom of my vast 29 years.

Having a family isn’t about a kid who has my hair (which is receding anyway, thanks to my genes); it’s about raising a child with our values and teaching them to have their own. To my surprise, most of the other guys in the group felt the same way. What’s important is the end result: being a family. I’ve felt that way since day one. So while I feel for Keiko with every cell in my body, her condition has never negatively affected my image of her, because regardless of how it happens we’ll always be able to have that family one way or another. And it will never affect her ability to be the wonderful mother I know she’ll be.

The second thing I came away from that group with was slightly more science-y. The guy who ran the session had done vast amounts of research on the emotional toll this situation takes on the husband. He’s found on average men lag about 3 years behind women in terms of emotional response. Now I don’t think that in a year I’m going to be sitting at my desk one minute and bawling the next. That’s just not how I operate. I bring it up though in hopes that some husbands and wives out there may take some solace in the idea that you may not be responding the same way as the other all the time; just because he’s not there crying next to you doesn’t mean or imply that he’s any less affected or that he doesn’t care. We just run on different timelines. It has never been a factor in my level of support for Keiko. My brain just processes the whole thing a little bit differently.

I don’t really know how to end this. I’ve done my fair share of writing, but never on something that’s so personal. I usually wrap up my articles with a succinct piece of poignant advice, but that doesn’t seem so apropos here. So I’ll just say that I hope a point of view from the other side was a little bit helpful and gives just a peek into what may be going on in the mind of those who care for you the most.

Life Before and After Infertility

Mel has a great post this week busting a myth about infertility, about crossing the divide between those who have and those who have not yet resolved their infertility. It's a brilliant post and she describes how we often can mark the moment at which our lives changed forever:

Because for many people, infertility doesn’t have an expiration date.  It doesn’t have an end point.  It is so huge, so emotional, so life-changing that it becomes an event — a divide in a life and the way we count years — the moment before the diagnosis and the moment after.  BD and AD. 

Mel's post got me thinking and I blurted out the following on Twitter yesterday:

I really do believe this. There is a clear cut line in my life experience where before March 18, 2009 I was one version of Keiko and all the days since I am now a different version of myself. While initially I would not have considered myself a stronger person: the depression, the grief, the anger - over time, I've come to a place of strength. I think of lot of that has come from forcing myself to really confront the bevy of emotions, to own those emotions and to self-validate.

It's okay if I'm having a tough time with this, I told myself. This is a pretty devastating ordeal so yeah, I have a right to be upset and grieve.

Infertility isn't the singular experience that has changed me. It's certainly a defining moment in my life, but I am not defined by it. In growing up to be the person I am, I have gone through multiple Before and After versions of myself. Before college I was a selfish spazzy teen with wild hormones who was convinced she'd be a high school music teacher by day, opera star by night. After college I had mellowed out and become highly self-aware and discovered a wealth of value to be found in the field of student affairs.

Before marriage I was a selfish partner who fought dirty and was pretty damn needy. After marriage, I made a commitment to consider my husband a true partner and equal, to agree to sit down and really talk instead of ignoring the issues, and to compromise.

Before infertility, I knew that I might have a hard time conceiving but that it would still happen and that a few years into our marriage, we'd have a little mini-version of Keiko and Larry running around. Before infertility, the idea of parenthood seemed so casual and natural. Before infertility, I thought I'd eventually be the Dean of a college.

After infertility, all of that changed. After infertility I'm still coming to terms with the fact that I am not able to create a genetic child that is both mine and Larry's. Biologically it will be, but not genetically. After infertility, the pressure to build our family and do it soon is almost overwhelming. What once felt so casual now seems like a crazed mission. After infertility, I am committed to serving this patient community in any way I can and want to turn my passion into a career in this field.

Before infertility, I took advantage of my ability to cope, heal, and be strong. After infertility, I have no doubt in those abilities.

And that's why I wouldn't take my infertility back, no matter how devastating this experience has been. Like all these Before and After moments in my life, I have learned and grown from each experience. I'm still learning and growing, who am I kidding; I certainly don't have all the answers and I'm hardly 100% after my infertility. We're still in the middle of it all. But I've developed a level of pragmatic hope and optimism that I didn't really have before I was diagosed. So yeah, if I could go back in time and wave a magic wand... I wouldn't change or take away my experience with infertility.

That said, I know not everyone is in the same place, as Twitter follower Jen pointed out yesterday:

Jen's right too. Infertility is a journey, a spectrum of experiences and emotions. Some days I feel great, like I can take on the world. Other days, I'd rather just stay in bed thankyouverymuch. I know some of you reading this, if you could, would make your infertility vanish from your life's landscape. And I don't blame you. Infertility sucks.

But I'd like to think that the experience teaches us things about ourselves we wouldn't have otherwise learned: that we may be shocked at how jealous we could become, that we may be humbled to see how we've pulled through our darkest hours, that we may be comforted to know that hope lies within us after all.

What IF: One Year Later

365 days.

33,760 plays.

359,858 loads.

I can't believe it's been a year since I released my What IF video.

So much has happened in the past year that's it's crazy to think it's only been just a year; in other ways, it feels like it was just yesterday; I still remember going out for sushi with friends of ours after filming on the Common.

I had posted a follow-up post two months after the video, and so much had happened even just in those first two months. In the remaining ten, even more amazing opportunities and connections have been made. I made connections with so many professionals and colleagues and bloggers in this field. I gave my first interview talking about the experience of making the film in a piece for Tablet Magazine in August. I was awarded the Hope Award for Best Viral Video at RESOLVE's Night of Hope in September. In November I attended the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference as a Board member and volunteer instead of a regular attendee, and it was a phenomenal experience. In December, we went on a much-needed cruise. With the new year, I came even more into my own strength and voice: in January, I took aim at the media and the following month, I had a thing or two to say to many of our legislators. In March, with the (now unsuccessful) attempt to bring mandated infertility insurance coverage to Maine, I stood up to the bevy of critics against mandated coverage.

And then this April has just kind of exploded: another interview, this time for my alumni magazine; an appearance on The Surrogacy Lawyer show; and of course, "that whole thing with PETA."

This is everything that's happened as related to my video and blog; I'm not even counting all the other things like buying our house, having a house fire, getting a second opinion, etc. It's been a pretty whirlwind year.

Yet like I said, I still remember the day I made the film with my husband like it was yesterday. The weather was gorgeous (unlike today's rather dreary weather). Our apartment was a mess, but it was shot deliberately so you couldn't tell. I still remember the funny looks from people as I wrote one of the questions with sidewalk chalk, word by word, then stopped and took a picture after writing each word. I remember the random couple who came up and asked us, "what are you doing?" as I stood there with my whiteboard in hand.

"I'm making an awareness video for infertility," I said proudly. They gave me a "oh, isn't that nice" kind of look and walked away.

I remember futzing with iMovie for close to 8 hours straight trying to edit the damn thing, thinking, "If it was a bajillion dollars, I bet this would be infinitely easier in Final Cut Pro."

And I remember hitting "Upload" on Vimeo and "Publish" here on Blogger and thinking my 29 blog followers at the time would be the only people to see the video, the only people to learn my real identity. How wrong I was.

The original post with the video has now 174 comments. Within the first few months, I received hundreds of emails from people who had seen the video: thanking me, telling me their stories and their struggles with infertility, often for the first time with someone beyond their partners. Even a year later, I still get at least an email a week from a viewer, or a mention tweet or direct message on Twitter, or a sporadic comment on the original post. In the last couple of days alone, I've had over 300 plays. The video just keeps going.

In some ways, it's kind of weird to think about this legacy that I've left for myself on the internet, because as we all know, there is no permanent delete online. Who knows what the landscape of the web will look like in 10 years, 20 years, 50 years even - but my little five-minute video will still chug along in some way, I bet.

It's a video, a project, and an accomplishment of mine I can't wait to show my children some day.

With all that, I just want to say thank you to everyone who's watched it, shared it, and blogged about it. And I want to thank RESOLVE again and to remind everyone that it's National Infertility Awareness Week. NIAW has been the launching point for shaping how I have chosen to cope with my infertility. It's influenced my commitment to giving back to the infertility community. NIAW fuels me to keep doing this work, to find new and creative ways to raise awareness for our disease and our causes.

I only ever made this video in the first place because the NIAW the year before gave me enough confidence to be brave enough to share my real name and face to my story.

I hope that National Infertility Awareness Week can inspire you the same way this year.

Bust An Infertility Myth: I Am Not A Broken Woman.

In retrospect, it was fitting that my last performance in The Vagina Monologues was reading "I Was There in the Room." It's a haunting, reverant, glorious monologue from Eve Ensler's perspective of watching her adopted son's child being born. She is present in the physical moment, in the space itself, but Eve is not the one birthing another. It's a noticable void in The Vagina Monologues: there's no monologue describing birth from a birthing mother's perspective. Just Eve's voice as the outside observer.

I often wonder if I will always be a kind of woman who is only there in the room: always observing, but never experiencing the moment myself.

. . .

When I was 18, I had my ovary removed in emergency surgery. Assured that my fertility would endure, I still felt like I was somehow broken. I had written a poem at the time about feeling like a tree with a broken branch.

. . .

She is a Tree of Life to those who take hold of her; those who hold her fast will be blessed. (Proverbs 3:18)

. . .

The Vagina Monologues were instrumental in my healing process back in college. They allowed me to shape and define my womanhood, a blossoming young adult woman myself. Performing three years in a row, the show gave me a space to take pride in my womanhood: to celebrate, cherish, and worship it. I performed another two times while working for another college; my final performance a visceral, but beautiful observation of the birthing process. It felt good to perform that monologue.

All this time, my soulmate was at my side. We celebrated, cherished, and worshipped each other. I knew we'd get married. I knew we'd have children together. This is just how it was supposed to be. And we did get married. We talked over our plans and agreed on May 2011: we'd begin our family. We'd give ourselves three years just as two, to grow to three (or more!) after that time.

I was worried about being down one ovary but remembered the assurance from my doctor from many years before: "You'll still be able to have children."

. . .

We had only been married a year and my puzzling symptoms at 26 simply didn't make any sense. In March of 2009, everything changed: premature ovarian failure.

In an instant, "the way things were supposed to be" was robbed from me. From us.

"I have failed you as your wife, as your soulmate, as a woman," I sobbed.

He held my face in his hands, looked me straight in the eye: "You are no less woman to me. You have failed no one. You're my wife and my soulmate and I love you."

"But I'm broken," I said in a voice, barely audible.

"No Keiko: you are not broken, I promise," Larry assured me. "We'll get through this."

. . .

Those years in college and in the years following, I took great pride and joy in being a woman. Sure, I griped about my monthly cycle: the cramps, the bleeding, the mood swings. But I still valued the work that my body was doing (or so I assumed at the time). I knew I was merely paving the way for my body's greatest test, and I would celebrate that too when the time came.

My body, my woman's body: a holy vessel of creation, power, life.

. . .

My infertility tried to rob me of that power. When I was diagnosed, I felt like Someone had taken a giant hammer and smashed my holy vessel to pieces. I am a broken woman, I would tell myself. I wove myself a blanket of shame and guilt.

Those days were the darkest, the days I felt robbed of all that I had celebrated and cherished about being a woman.

This was the myth I told myself.

. . .

In the past year, my voice has gained confidence, strength, and hope:

I am not a broken woman.

I am NOT a broken woman.

. . .

It's not that I think women should be baby-factories, let me be clear. Rather, I see the acts of conception, pregnancy, birth, and motherhood as sacred gifts in the womanhood experience. Our bodies then, are truly vessels of creative - in the truest sense of the word - power.

Yet my womb lies barren. My tree bears no fruit of its own. I am endlessly blessed to live in an age of modern science, where my womb can be made full with the help of a selfless other, a lab, and a little luck. There is no guarantee, but it's the chance I'm willing to take.

And if we can't conceive with help, then we are just as open to adoption. Motherhood without its traditional preceding acts is no less sacred; to parent is no less a gift.

. . .

So when I look at the past two years, at the vastness of what has felt like a decade but has only been just two years - I've come a long way. Each month at the Red Tent Temple, I remind myself and am reminded of all the joyous ways of being a woman in all stages. I leave my titles at the door: Barren. Childless. Infertile. Broken.

And I choose not to collect those titles when I leave.

I am not a broken woman.

I invite you to shed this myth with me. To bury this myth, to banish it from your mental vocabulary, to cast it out from your hearts. Say with me now:

I am not a broken woman.

I am NOT a broken woman.

Now keep saying this - out loud - with me:

I am strong and beautiful. 

I am a force to be reckoned with. 

I am wise and joyous and whole in spirit and grace. 

My infertility is only one facet of the many parts of who I am and I am not a broken woman.

I am not a broken woman and I have yet so many wondrous gifts to share with this world.

My Woman's Work has only just begun.

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It's National Infertility Awareness Week. Infertility affects 1 out of every 8 couples... like me. Find out how you can participate and provide support to 7.3 million people living with this disease: www.resolve.org/takecharge. This post is part of the Bust a Myth Bloggers Unite project.

National Infertility Awareness Week 2011: What's Happening Around the Blogosphere

APRIL 24 - 30, 2011

National Infertility Awareness Week is literally just around the corner! NIAW stands for so many things in our community: support, empowerment, awareness-raising, hope. In many ways, NIAW is about community and how we strengthen each other in our journeys by raising awareness for our disease.

There are many ways you can get involved with NIAW and I encourage you to participate in ways that you're comfortable. Besides the ever-growing list of NIAW events happening all around the country, I wanted to take a minute to highlight some of the various things happening around the infertility blogosphere and what you can do right from the comfort of your own computer. Whether it's raising awareness via social media, an online book club, writing a blog post or entering a giveaway, there are a variety of ways you can get involved as an infertility blogger. Check out what's out there in the list below!

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+ BLOG CARNIVALS

Bust an Infertility Myth: Bloggers Unite!

Sponsored by RESOLVE, bloggers are invited to bust a myth about infertility via a blog post. You can pick from RESOLVE's list of infertility myths or select one of your own. Each participating blog will then be considered for RESOLVE's Night of Hope Award for Best Blog.  Snag a badge and don't forget to add your participating blog post to the list here.

IF We Believe! A Blog Carnival about the Stories and Faces of Infertility

Sponsored by blogger Up, Down and Natural, IF We Believe! is a blog carnival with a mission of tearing down the veil of infertility, and being able to express all the emotions, and daily infertility experience from the highs and lows, and everything in between. IF We Believe! Anything Is Possible... Particpating blogs will be entered into a drawing to win 20 ovulation predictor strips. See Arpita's blog for more info and submit your post online here.

IComLeavWe: April 21-28, 2011

Hosted by blogger Melissa Ford of Stirrup Queens, ICLW is like a blog comment carnival. Bloggers sign up to be added to a list of participating blogs and commit to commenting on at least 5 blogs and returning 1 comment left on their blog each day of ICLW. It's a great way to find new blogs and April's ICLW always lines up with NIAW. Bloggers have until 11:00PM EST on April 21st to sign up for April's ICLW and must add an ICLW badge on their blog. Sign up here.

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+ SOCIAL MEDIA AWARENESS CAMPAIGNS

Share Hope (#sharehope) Twitter Campaign

Sponsored by Clear Passage, the Share Hope campaign seeks to raise awareness in 140 characters or less on Twitter during NIAW. Beginning on April 24, tweet your infertility story with hashtag #sharehope. Each day of NIAW, one tweet will be selected as the daily prize winner and will receive a book by a well-respected fertility professional; each of those winners will be entered into a Grand Prize drawing for 20 hours of free hands on infertility treatment at Clear Passage Physical Therapy. See their website for full details.

NIAW Twibbon Campaign

Sponsored by RESOLVE and MyDestinationFamily.org, a Twibbon adds a tiny RESOLVE logo to your Twitter or Facebook profile picture. One simple click can help raise awareness for a disease that affects 1 out of every 8 couples in the United States. Click the link to add your twibbon today!

Download an Infertility Ribbon

Bloggers Whitney and Erick think it's high time the infertility community has their own ribbon- so they've made one to share online! Snag a version for your blog, your Facebook or Twitter profile pictures, or even add to your email signatures. You can really get creative. Check out Whitney and Erick's blog to snag the codes.

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+ VIRTUAL BOOK CLUB

Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult

Sponsored by the Law Offices of Amy Demma, they'll discuss Jodi Picoult's new book: Sing You Home. They invite all of their friends from within the infertility community (both colleagues and those trying to conceive) as well as friends, families and loved ones who want to support those struggling to build a family. Join in the discussions and posts on their Facebook page today!

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+ GIVEAWAYS, CONTESTS AND PROMOTIONS

Vote for Parenthood for Me!

You have until 11:59 PST on Friday, April 22nd to vote for Parenthood for Me for the 2011 Leading Moms in Business competition, sponsored by Discover. Parenthood for Me is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization whose mission is to provide financial and emotional support to those building families through adoption or medical intervention. They raise funds to award family-building grants to those living with infertility. You can vote once daily, so do it today, tomorrow and Friday!

Save $5 on The IVF Companion During NIAW

Are you about to undergo your first IVF? Your third IVF cycle? Consider organizing yourself with The IVF Companion, a guided personal organizer with tons of resources for making sense of your IVF cycle. Check back after April 23rd to get the promo code.

Blogger Giveaway
Sponsored by blogger In Due Time, she'll be giving away items every day of NIAW. Check back on her blog for all the details.

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*If you're hosting an event like these listed above and would like to be added to this list, send me an email to miriamshope {at} gmail {dot} com.

Soundoff! How will you be participating in National Infertility Awareness Week this year?

Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Show Update: MP3 Available Online

If you missed me on last week's The Surrogacy Laywer Radio Program with Evelina Sterling, you can download the show as an mp3 to listen to at your leisure!

Click here to download Premature Ovarian Failure and the NIAW/PETA Debate with Evelina Weidman Sterling and Keiko Zoll.

As the title mentions, Evelina and I talked about all things POF; Evelina spoke to the more clinical aspects of the disease and I shared my personal experiences as a patient. Evelina also shared how it's now referred to as Primary Ovarian Insuffiency. And of course, we saved a few minutes at the end to chat with Theresa about the whole PETA ordeal.

If you have 54 minutes right now, you can listen below:

What I Learned from PETA & Why This Mattered

What a week folks, what a week.

It's official: all references to NIAW have been removed from the PETA website, including on that directing Features page that would take you to the contest page itself. Again: thanks, PETA - much appreciated.

I've had some time now to finally get some sleep, step back from Twitter for more than 20 minutes at a time, and really reflect on everything that's happened. Some people supported our efforts wholeheartedly (63 of you joined me in openly condemning PETA through blog posts). Some people didn't think that, of all the battles we face as a community, this was the battle to pick. Some folks remained silent by choice- for a variety of reasons, and many reasons I can respect and support. And some probably still don't even know anything happened at all last week. In the grand scheme of the looming government shutdown, discord in Libya, and mounting concerns at the Fukushima reactor in Sendai, Japan - I can see how some riled-up infertile folks yelling at PETA might seem like small potatoes in comparison.

As an infertile woman, especially the days where I've got baby on the brain pretty bad, I have to remind myself to keep my infertility in check, or rather, to keep my perspective in check. There are bigger things in the world than whether or not I want or am able to have children. I get that, but sometimes I don't always remember this when I all can think of is "When's it going to be our turn already?" So I challenge myself to keep it all in context.

So, after all of this, allow me to share What I've Learned and Why This Mattered.

What I Learned from Standing Up to PETA:

Take the high road when you're trying to argue a point.
It is so tempting and quite easy to resort to name-calling. Like I said, PETA is an Internet Troll with whom to be reckoned. It's so easy to fall into the trap of hurling insults and low-blow moves; after all, was not their campaign an insult and low-blow to us in the first place? To quote the ever famous Calvin, of Calvin & Hobbes: "Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around." It feels good to engage in some verbal mud-slinging.

I could have easily written a letter that said, "Fuck you, PETA!" That's certainly how I felt. Instead, I took the time to process through my gut emotional response to deliver a clear and (relatively) concise argument: "Dear PETA: here's why your campaign is not cool and here's what we'd like you to do about it." When all you're doing is throwing mud around, you still just end up covered in shit. And I don't know about you, but I hate doing laundry. I also want to add: be gracious. PETA didn't have to do anything at all, but they did, so it's only right (and polite) to say thank you.

Don't give up.
I'm a figher by nature. I fight for and within this community because others can't or won't for whatever reasons. I'm able to do so because I am infinitely lucky to have the support that I do; I know many others in my shoes who don't have the kind of support systems Larry and I have. I also know some people are just tired of fighting, and I don't blame them. I suppose it's just a personality trait for for me: I'm a passionate person. I give myself fully to the things and people about which I am passionate. Some people (my husband, my parents) might say I'm a woman who simply doesn't take "No" for an answer.

When emails didn't seem to be making an impact, I turned to the blogging community. When additional emails and posts from folks in the community didn't work, I took to Twitter. When Twitter didn't work, I started a petition. When the petition gained momentum, I approached the media. I turned to my colleagues in this field for help in not only lending their support, but spreading the word. One drop in the lake became a ripple effect in the community... and it worked.

Why It Mattered:

Every battle in this community is important, whether it's telling off the media, telling off PETA, or telling off our legislators. But it's not just about raising our voices in anger - it's about raising our voices in informed civil discourse. We don't have to shout to get our point across; we can speak clearly, intelligibly, and respectfully. When we organize ourselves and our voices into a coherent, passionate message, the effect is profound.

As a community, we were heard.
We were heard when so often we are not: when we disclose to others we're seeking IVF and we get the instant response comparing us to Octomom; when infertility is still up in the air as an essential benefit; when the media asks Giuliana Rancic if she's considered adoption immediately after her miscarriage; when people ask prospective adoptive parents if they're worried about whether or not they'll feel like their "real" chidlren; when the voice of the childfree, the of color, and the LGBT are lost in the greater conversation about infertility but whose experiences are just as valid and relative to ours. It was pretty hard to ignore us because we came out in such force.

As a community, we needed this.
In a patient community where we're already beaten down from tests, insenstive comments, BFN's, fall-throughs: this was a huge confidence booster. So often we don't feel like we have any control of our lives or our bodies, and yet here is an example of making a concious decision to stand up and fight back, to take control over how an organization chooses to exploit our community: and we did it. We regained a little bit of that sense of control that we lost. We gained back some of the confidence that may have been taken away from us. It felt good. And feeling good is something we always need as a community.

As a community, this inspired us to act.
I am still amazed at how many people chose to participate in some way, from as simple as sharing links on Facebook to writing letters of their own. To every person who signed the petition, I hope you'll write your legislators. For every person who posted a blog, I hope you'll participate in the Bust a Myth Bloggers Unite Project for National Infertility Awareness Week.

I hope this experience gave everyone who participated the confidence to turn your passion into action. I hope this inspired EVERYONE to really, really consider participating in RESOLVE's Advocacy Day either in DC or in your local districts on May 5th.

All of this mattered because it has paved the way for us to do even greater things as and for this community. I'm of the opinion we owe it to each other, because at the end of the day, we're all fighing for the same thing, right?

It matters because if we put good out there, hopefully we'll get a little bit of that good back. And folks: it is good work that we're all doing. Let's keep it up.

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Don't forget: I'm appearing on The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Show this Thursday, April 14th, with Evelina Sterling from Rachel's Well. Tune in here online at 2PM EST (11AM PST) to hear us talk about premature ovarian failure, menstrual health, and more updates about PETA.

Reflective thoughts on PETA forthcoming - promise!

Hey folks - I've been meaning to post a nice reflective piece on this whole experience. It has been a whirlwind of a week and weekend, but I'm literally running on empty right now between work and some after work commitments (in addition to getting my house cleaned/organized for visitors in a couple of weeks). My schedule, as it always does in April, has blown up.

I'm hoping to have something up by tomorrow night at the latest, but wanted to share a couple of quick, cool things:

1. The NIAW language that still remained on PETA's directing Features page has been removed as of 12pm EST today. Victory complete!

2. We got media coverage in Canada... under "Weird News." Lol, I'll take it.

3. We got an amazing and inspiring summary of events from Rachel Gurevich from infertility.about.com: How Blogging, Online Petitions, Phone Calls, and Email Writing Really Can Make a Difference

4. I'll be appearing as a guest with Evelina W. Sterling from Rachel's Well on Theresa Erickson's The Surrogacy Lawyer Radio Program THIS THURSDAY at 11AM PST/2PM EST. Tune in online here!

So stay tuned for (what will hopefully be my last) blog post about PETA and this whole experience tonight or tomorrow.

And now, I'll leave you with another picture of my cats, because they are quite frankly - adorbs.

That's right, our cats hold paws. Behold the cute.

PETA Update #5: An Email from PETA President Ingrid Newkirk

Knock me over with a feather this morning when I actually got an email from Ms. Ingrid Newkirk herself:

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FROM: "Ingrid Newkirk" [IngridN@peta.org]
TO: Me
DATE: Sun, Apr 10, 2011 at 7:48 AM
SUBJECT: Thank You.
mailed-bypeta.org

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Thanks, we will look at that right away.

Also, thank you very much for your adoption of the beautiful cats and for suggesting people help their local shelters. We are not in favor of “no kill” terminology as it leaves the dirty work to the open admission shelters. You might enjoy our other website, helpinganimals.com. We operate three full time spay/neuter clinics for indigent people’s animals, and others who will not or cannot afford full price. It not only does spays/neuters, but helps with fleas, ear cleanings, even surgeries for animals who spend their entire lives chained to a dirt patch or living under a trailer, etc. You may wish to look at and pass on the links of some of the animals who are taken in, that “no kill” shelters will usually not touch as they are not adoptable. Someone has to touch them. We get a lot of criticism for being so “impure” as to do so rather than leave the dirty work to others. Some of the pics are tough to look at...

[Ms. Newkirk included a list of links that I've truncated here for space.]

 . . .

I'll definitely be following up this week to make sure the link/reference has been removed from their Features directing page. EDIT: As of 12PM EST Monday, April 11th, the language has been removed. I can now consider this a complete victory.

We have been heard indeed, from the highest level of PETA.

I'm so incredibly humbled by and proud of this community right now.

More thoughts tomorrow.

A 2nd Open Letter to PETA: Thank You

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TO: "Ingrid Newkirk" [IngridN@peta.org]
CC: "Carrie Snider" [CarrieS@peta.org], "HollyAnne Dame" [HollyAnneD@petaf.org], "Tracy Reiman" [TracyR@peta.org], "Dan Mathews" [DanM@peta.org], "Lisa Lange" [LisaL@peta.org]
SUBJECT: A 2nd Open Letter to PETA re: Win a Vasectomy - Thank You
DATE: Sun, Apr 10, 2011 at 2:26 AM

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Ingrid E. Newkirk, President
CC: Carrie Snider, Special Projects Coordinator; HollyAnn Dame, Membership Correspondent; Tracy Reiman, Executive Vice President; Dan Mathews, Senior Vice President of Campaigns; Lisa Lange, Senior Vice President of Communications
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
501 Front St.
Norfolk, VA 23510

Dear Ms. Newkirk,

It was recently brought to my attention that PETA has removed all links to National Infertility Awareness Week for your “Win a Vasectomy” campaign. On behalf of the 7.3 million people who cope with the disease of infertility every day:

Thank you.

Thank you for listening to our voices, our emails, our blog posts, our tweets, our website comments, our media coverage, our phone calls and messages, and our petition with 2,200+ signatures. Thank you for listening to your members and supporters who disagreed with this campaign’s tactics. Thank you for listening and hearing the voice of the infertility community. Believe me when I say we are deeply grateful for your decision to retract the association between these two campaigns.

Thank you for recognizing and acknowledging that infertility is not a joke, not a patient community who can be used to promote your organization’s aims at our expense.

I have asked my readers and followers to consider making a contribution to their local animal shelter as a way to say thank you to your organization in the wake of your decision to remove the link to NIAW. I personally will be making a contribution to the Northeast Animal Shelter in honor of this occasion, a no-kill shelter in my community that brought us our two lovely cats Saba and Toro (see picture below).

I do have one final, minute request of a technical note. While the landing page for the “Win a Vasectomy” campaign has removed all mention of NIAW, it appears the directing page under the Features tab still includes the “in honor of” language (http://www.peta.org/features/default.aspx). As someone who has worked with website management before, it appears to be a simple oversight error that this language was listed on this separate page. We would appreciate the immediate removal/updating of this language from the Features page as well if PETA would like to be consistent in honoring its commitment not to further offend our patient community.

Again, I would like to personally thank you, and thank you on behalf of the infertility community for removing the link to your campaign and NIAW.

Respectfully,
~Keiko Zoll
(and Saba & Toro)

Thanks, PETA.

PETA Update #4: Victory!

We did it, folks!

PETA has removed all references to National Infertility Awareness Week from their "Win a Vasectomy" campaign. I've closed the petition and we've come in at just over 2,200 signatures in just 3 days. This is an incredible victory for the infertility community.

Check out my vlog below for more information, and stay tuned for my open letter to PETA thanking them for hearing our voice and responding to our concerns.

Feel free to spread the good news!

PETA Update #3: Close, But No Cigar

It's been a crazy 48 hours. Let's recap:

First I sent PETA my open letter in response to their "Win a Vasectomy" campaign. Then PETA wrote back... and told me to "just adopt." So I wrote them back again (does this officially make us pen pals?) and they wrote me back again with a non-apology apology.

Then PETA issues a broader non-apology apology on their Facebook page that said, in a nutshell: "We're sorry you got so upset."

So then I posted a petition online at Change.org, urging signers to Tell PETA: Infertility Is Not a Joke. And as of 9PM EST today, 1700+ people think that PETA should formally apologize and immediately remove any link between their campaign and National Infertility Awareness Week.

I think this makes me and PETA BFFs now.

Other important things that have happened in the last 48 hours:

• RESOLVE issued a press release formally condemning PETA for their actions.
• As of 9PM EST tonight, 59 blogs have posted open letters to PETA in solidarity.
• Our cause got a fantastic write-up on Babble.com from writer Nichole Beaudry.
• Dawn Davenport weighs in from the adoption community as to why "Just adopt" is probably one of the worst responses PETA could have given.
• Alisyn Camerota, host on Fox and Friends, long-time RESOLVE volunteer who recently appeared on The Today Show talking about her experience with infertility and her volunteer work, made the following tweet: @AlyatFox: Infertility is painful enough without PETA making a mockery of it. For info go to resolve.org.
• RESOLVE launched a "Turn Your Passion Into Action" resource page.

If this wasn't already obvious, the momentum on this campaign has picked up like wildfire. So after all this, how does PETA respond?

By changing "in honor of" NIAW to "during" NIAW.

Click to embiggen.

*golf clap*

Don't be fooled, readers. This isn't the victory we've been after just quite.

What would appear to be a real response is actually just a trollish attempt to appease the masses and probably keep their phones from ringing off the hook.

I've got to hand it to PETA: they rank among the likes of Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church when it comes to walking the line between literal and libel. In sum, I'm honestly impressed at not only how smug PETA is when it comes to engaging with their opposition, but at just how suave their trolling really is. In the battle of David vs. the Goliath, this little blogger is head to head with the pros.

Here's the thing about trolls. They love the attention and the vitriol spewed in the wake of their trolling. They feed on making you angry. That's why apart from this post, I've engaged in nothing but eloquent, well-researched, well-composed dialogue on my end. PETA, for the most part, has done the same, with the exception of telling me that "infertility is justified because the world is overpopulated" and that "as an infertile woman, I should just adopt." In all of my exchanges, I haven't resorted to profanity or name-calling. Believe me: I've been tempted.

But with this little tweak to PETA's campaign website, I'm calling out PETA for what they are: trolls. 

Trolling: an artist's rendition.

I'm not stupid and I know this one campaign has not happened in a vacuum. "Win a Vasectomy" in honor of/during NIAW is not a new tactic; this is merely standard M.O. for these folks. I'm well aware of some of their other controversial campaigns, such as comparing the consumption of meat to the Holocaust. And there's other less overt ways PETA exploits people at the expense of animals: PETA has no problem objectifying women in their ad campaigns.

What's the first rule of the internet? Don't feed the trolls. Here's the thing - I'm confident that PETA went after the infertility community because we're largely silenced; I honestly don't think PETA was expecting a response this vocal. Sometimes you have to feed the trolls - but give them food they don't like, such as solid research and stats, a commitment to no longer contribute to them financially, and mature, well-spoken arguments. If you resort to swearing and name-calling, they've won. You basically have to treat PETA like a small child: speak slowly, clearly, and repeat yourself ad nauseum until they understand. 

By changing "in honor of" to "during" and by issuing apologies that apologize for our reactions and not their actions, PETA is essentially patting us on our heads and hoping we'll go on our merry ways. We can't give in; we have to be relentless. Keep calling and leaving messages. Keep emailing them. Keep sharing the petition with others. Keep tweeting and posting on Facebook. Keep contacting the media (so far only Canada, Ireland and New Zealand have picked up PETA's stunt, but not our response).

If you chip away at a tree long enough, it will eventually fall over. The ball is still in PETA's court to do the right thing, and until then, we need to remind them of that... every day, every hour, every minute.

EDIT: On the flipside, I'd like to recommend Mel's very thoughtful post about this whole fiasco over at Stirrup Queens. It's easy to get caught up in the anger and emotion, but she makes some fantastic points about why this whole thing still matters. It's a nice counterpoint that promotes and encourages thoughtful dialogue about all of this. Check out Why I'm Not Talking about PETA.

PETA Responds and They Just Don't Get It

Click here to jump to the list of participating blogs with open letters to PETA.

Seriously? PETA just doesn't have a clue.

I did in fact send my Open Letter to PETA yesterday to Ingrid Newkirk, President of PETA. Color me shocked when I actually received a response from a real-live human being: Ms. Carrie Snider, Special Projects Coordinator for PETA.

Here it is:

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FROM: Carrie Snider [CarrieS@peta.org]
TO: Me
DATE: Tue, Apr 5, 2011 at 2:50 PM
SUBJECT: RE: An Open Letter to PETA re: "Win a Vasectomy"
mailed-bypeta.org

Dear Ms. Zoll,

Ms. Newkirk is currently traveling and unable to respond, so I am answering your letter on her behalf.

While we recognize that infertility is a difficult issue for many people, we continue to support adoption of human children and companion animals alike. With nearly 7 billion people on the planet, and a crisis of vanishing resources, it is crucial-- for humans and animals -- that we curb our reproductive habits.

Respectfully,
Carrie Snider
Special Projects Coordinator
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

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How kind of you to respond, Ms. Snider. Unfortunately, you failed to address about 99% of what I had to say in my original letter. Perhaps I need to clarify:

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FROM: Me
TO: Carrie Snider [CarrieS@peta.org]
DATE: Tue, Apr 5, 2011 at 3:40 PM
SUBJECT: Re: An Open Letter to PETA re: "Win a Vasectomy"
mailed-bygmail.com

Good afternoon Ms. Snider,

Thank you for your prompt response; I was fully expecting my email to float into the ether.

While adoption is certainly a wonderful option for many families, it is a family building resolution, not a cure for a prolific global disease. The WHO estimates infertility may impact as many as 1 in 4 women globally. And yet, there are many who believe infertility is not a disease, despite official statements from leading health organizations like the WHO. Your response to me confirms this as you refer to infertility as merely a "difficult issue." There is a level of cultural silencing and shaming around infertility that events like National Infertility Awareness Week seek to combat.

The "Win a Vasectomy" campaign from your organization only compounds the work we have to do to dispel this cultural shaming and exacerbates tired, canned responses to the issue of infertility. Overpopulation as justification fails to respond to a legitimate medical disease and invalidates the emotional and physical experiences of 7.3 million people in the US alone.

Additionally, I should not have to "curb" my reproductive "habits" - for an organization that concerns itself with animals, it seems to be PETA line to only have a rudimentary understanding of basic animal biological imperative. Reproduction is hardly habit; it is animal instinct. For humans, it is both right and privilege.

PETA's campaign misses the mark on so many levels and has left me and hundreds of others who have since read my blog today hurt and disgusted that PETA would stoop as low as to insult and demean a medical patient population as vast as the infertility community.

I hope Ms. Newkirk can find the time to respond, as this campaign is not only a mockery of everything that National Infertility Awareness Week seeks to promote, but is a cruel execution of a kitsch promotional concept at the expense of millions of patients for whom infertility is no laughing matter.


~Keiko Zoll

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Again, I honestly didn't think I'd receive a response. Oh that Carrie, she's a fighter! She even pulled the "I'm making this sound like an apology without actually apologizing" card!

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FROM: Carrie Snider [CarrieS@peta.org]
TO: Me
DATE: Tue, Apr 5, 2011 at 5:07 PM
SUBJECT: RE: An Open Letter to PETA re: "Win a Vasectomy"
mailed-bypeta.org

Dear Ms. Zoll,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I’m afraid Ms. Newkirk is traveling, but I want you to know that your concerns are heard. I think we both have important points, and I share your concern for the sensitivities of would-be parents. Please know that our intention was not at all to mock, but to push for an overall lower birth rate for all humans and companion animals.

I can see that this is very painful for you and your community, and for that we’re sorry. I hope we can share a vision of a future where a sustainable human and animal population means no need for such a contest.

Sincerely,
Carrie Snider
Special Projects Coordinator
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

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So... PETA is sorry that this is painful for me and that I've been offended... but they're not sorry for their campaign. They're not sorry for insulting and invalidating the medical conditions of millions of men and women. Their intention was not to mock... and yet they managed to do so in perhaps one of the most insensitive, asinine ways possible. Thanks PETA, for your passive-aggressive non-committal apology without really apologizing.

Well, I guess it's the sorriest response I could have expected.

Stay classy, PETA. Oh wait, this is a concept completely lost on you.

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SOLIDARITY: Letters/Posts to PETA 
Openly Condemning the "Win a Vasectomy" Campaign