11% Towards My Goal!

So far I've raised $180* for my Fall Fertile Fundraiser for RESOLVE of New England - I'm 11% of the way there! I'd love to double or even triple that by Thanksgiving - think I can do it?

I think so! (Especially with your help!)

$2000 still seems like a long way off, but that's only 91 people willing to donate just $20 each. And even $10 will help... hell, even $5.

I know it's tough times and folks are cash strapped - myself included. (What's this "mortgage" you speak of? Kidding. We have auto-pay.) As we head into the season of being thankful, making a charitable contribution is an excellent way to say thanks to an organization that does so much. It's nice to put that kind of goodness out there, because I believe goodness begets goodness.

Don't have the cash this week to make a contribution? Tweet about this fundraiser instead (Help 1000s living with #infertility - donate 2day for @miriamshope's Fertile Fall Fundraiser http://bit.ly/cp0Cwq Pls RT!), share it on Facebook via my Fundrazr page, or write a blog post about it and encourage your readers and followers to contribute on your behalf.

It's that whole spreading goodness thing again :)

To contribute, click on the image below. It'll take you to my Fundrazr page:

Thank you for helping to make this fundraiser a success!

*I know my Fundrazr page says I've raised only $105, but I've received other donations online outside of that app so it won't total those contributions. I've tried adjusting it manually, but I can't. Still, donating via my Fundrazr page is probably the easiest way to contribute. so, c'est la vie.

Reminder: Fertile Fall Fundraiser is still going on!

So far I've raised $35 for my Fertile Fall Fundraiser for RESOLVE of New England. I've still got a long way to go, but I'm confident we can make it. I've decided to extend my fundraiser until December 30, 2010 - that's a month and a half from now. $1965 in a month and a half? Totally doable! That's ~$44 a day. That's just 4 people a day, willing to donate 10(ish) dollars a day.

I think the issue is that I need to spread the word, so here are a couple of tweets to help out the campaign:

I just donated to @miriamshope's Fertile Fall Fundraiser for @resolveneweng - have you? #infertility http://bit.ly/cp0Cwq

$10 could help thousands with #infertility - donate 2day for @miriamshope's Fertile Fall Fundraiser http://bit.ly/cp0Cwq Pls RT!

How are other ways you can help? Besides the obvious way of contributing, you can blog about it on your own blogs. If you do, please leave a link to your post in the comments. Just think, fellow NaBloPoMo-ers - instant blog post! Spreading the word is key, so whether you blog, tweet, or Facebook it, you're helping to share this fundraiser with potentially hundreds of other potential contibutors. Please and thank you for doing so :)

5 Reasons to Donate Right Now:

1. Donating is like putting a little good out there into the Universe and when you put good out there, you get good back.
2. Make a contribution to give hope to others like you who are battling infertility.
3. Make a contribution in honor of your children, to celebrate your victory if you've conquered your infertility.
4. RESOLVE of New England is a pretty kickass organization with tons of resources, education, peer led support groups, and more - and kickass orgs need kickass funding.
5. You're an awesome friend, fellow blogger, reader, and supporter!

Now that you're feeling totally inspired, you can donate via the Fundrazr app on my Facebook page. If you're unable to donate (believe me, we're feeling the economic crunch too), please consider at least spreading the word via your own blogs, Facebook, and Twitter. You can snag the graphic above and link it to my Fundrazr page directly via the bit.ly link above.

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Call it a mitzvah. Call it your good deed for the day.
Whatever you call it, it's doing something good. And doing good feels good.

So... do you feel like doing some good today? 

I hope you do and thank you for supporting this cause!

RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference Recap

For all the nearly minute-by-minute details, check out yesterday's live blog here.

Now that I've had nearly a whole day to digest the conference... let me sum it up for you: wow. We left bright and early and had a long day ahead of us. Eight hours of discussing infertility can be pretty exhausting, and I won't lie: it was. Yet at the end of the day I felt exhilarated.

We officially had more attendees this year than last year; we even had close to 20 walk-in registrants! I don't know the final number, but I think we were just over 200 attendees. I finally got to meet (and spend more than 2 minutes talking to) some fabulous bloggers, including Melissa from Stirrup Queens and Jes from Baby Bump Bound. I also met a couple of readers - shoutouts to Moira and Victoria! We had folks coming from Vermont and Maine and Boston and Quincy and Schenectady, New York.

The most profound fact that I realized at the end of the day, however, was realizing that just last year, Larry and I were coming as wide-eyed, overwhelmed, newly diagnosed attendees. This year, we came back as volunteers and the experience was much more different for us this time around; in a good way, of course.

I experienced both blinder and reverse blinder effects. Last year, I was wearing blinders on my emotional experience; I was looking through a tunnel of my own pain and grieving with only minimally reaching out to others. This year, as a volunteer, the blinders came off. In interacting with so many other people: attendees, other volunteers, vendors, and speakers, I saw a much broader emotional spectrum. Sure, I still saw that same pain, grief, and even frustration, but I think my role as a volunteer, combined with my recognizability from my video, there was a greater sense of openness, of connection with people there. Last year it took all I had to be able to open up and share in the last session of the day, "Dealing with the Outside World." This year, I was sharing everything from my upcoming 2nd opinion appointment to the ways I've been able to cope- and not cope- in the last year.

By that same token, last year, I felt like I was inundated with an overload of information. This year, I had my information-gathering blinders on. Since I didn't attend every session and was concentrating on a) making sure I was performing my duties b) connecting and networking with folks and c) live blogging throughout the day, my attentions were divided and so I feel like I walked away with substantially less information this year. But that's okay - like I said above, the connections alone I made with people were worth the experience.

I also talked with a fellow RESOLVE of New England member about the vibe this year - definitely a different vibe. We both agreed that last year there were lots more couples appearing stressed out at the end of the day. This year: smiles, laughter, and again, seeing people reaching out and talking with others.  I also noticed the crowd this year appeared younger. I remember distinctly feeling in the age minority last year whereas this year, I saw a good number of couples that appeared in the "under 30" crowd. It was great to see that with a larger attendance the overall vibe was both more positive and the crowd younger.

I'm going to post my theories, totally unscientifically researched, about why this year felt different.

1. The economy was really in the crapper this time last year. I remember last year freaking out about being able to even afford to come. We were very lucky and very grateful to receive a scholarship for the both of us to attend. When you're at a Family Building Conference and realize that even with the Massachusetts Infertility Mandate, ART or adoption is going to cost you anywhere from $15 - $40K, I'm sure that would put anyone in a foul mood. I'm not saying the economy has snapped back, but it's certainly better this year than it was this time last year.

2. Increased media coverage of infertility (even negative) in the past year. I know we are still dealing with the aftermath of Octomom and yes, we're still wrestling with the ethical dilemmas of the 70-year old first-time mother in India or the 57-year old new mother of twins in Australia - but we've had some good press too. And with shows like Giuliana & Bill and their efforts with RESOLVE National, I think there has been a shift in the infertility media landscape. The most important thing is that the media is covering infertility, people are talking about it. With increasing dialogue I think comes an openness to making connections with others in the same boat.

3. An aggressive social media campaign. I know I'm certainly part of this, from blogging and tweeting and Facebooking every chance I could about the Conference, but it was all a part of a larger strategy by RESOLVE of New England to reach out to a broader audience through the online channels of which we're attuned. And I have to say, I think the strategy worked.

In sum, I think this was an incredibly successful conference, one that I'm proud not only to have been a part of, but proud to see how far we've come in a year. I am by no means "over" my infertility or finished grieving or living emotionally well with all of this - but we have come a helluva long way in a year. I find that inspiring for myself, and I hope it inspires and gives you hope too.

If I didn't see you at the Conference this year... I hope it's because you've resolved in some way. And if you haven't, I'll still be there next year.

RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference Live Blog!

I'm blogging live today from the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference in Marlborough, MA. Stay tuned for updates throughout the day - make sure to hit F5/Refresh! Newest updates at the top of this post.

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5:15pm - Alrighty, we're out. Full recap post tomorrow. Thanks for following along for this live blog!

5:08pm - Wow. What a day. Just waiting for Larry to come back with his Room Monitor Sheet from the For Men Only Ask the Expert Session.

4:27pm - Helping to tally up the Room Monitor sheets... so far, the morning sessions were really well attended! Great to see folks dropping off evals on their way out, but I hope folks are heading to the Ask the Experts sessions! It's nice to sit at the main table and answer questions for folks. Also? If I haven't mentioned this already? Everyone is super friendly- presenters, exhibitors, volunteers, and attendees. A very safe space indeed for folks at every stage of their journey. Hm, probably should have mentioned that at the beginning of the day :)

4:00pm - Talking about known donors: there's not a lot written about it right now, and that's an indicator of how well they work. All in all, this is a really great session. Have to scoot... I'm working as the Room Monitor Captain for the Ask the Experts Panels at 4:20pm!

3:53pm - Amazing analogy that cracked up the group re: explaining conception to young children -  Conception equals three ingredients: ovum, sperm, uterus. PB&J sandwiches equals three ingredients: PB, J, and bread. If you're out of PB, you don't replace it with mustard because it's the same color. So, kids as young as 4 and 5 can begin to understand the basics of using donor gametes in their conception. Fair enough. Now I want a PB&J sandwich.

3:50pm - Nancy raises an excellent point about revealing donor gamete status. We must ask ourselves: "This is my child's information. If I share this information with others, will it help or hurt my child?" Ultimately, it all comes back to your child.

3:48pm - Members of the audience agree: sharing your stories with others is a good thing. The panelists talk about creating A and B teams - who are the people who can truly support you, and you might find that one person can shift from A to B, based on life circumstances. Your best girlfriend who is your strongest A team member becomes pregnant, and now you can't relate on the same way. She moves to the B team, but she's still your support, just in a more removed way. It's nice to hear other people share that when they've opened up to others they've gotten a flood of support.

3:41pm - Best statement of the conference, from the male panelist: "There's a lot of ways you can cope, but the one thing you learn through these opportunities is, you are not alone." Good lord is that true. That folks, is why I'm blogging and advocating and volunteering. We are not alone.

3:34pm - Lynn: The whole process feels very overwhelming at the start and you're just freshmen now, but you'll be sophomores soon. It'll all make sense soon. The first panelist makes a great counterpoint: it's okay if you're not able to get to that stage, or not able to be comfortable about going to that next step. Refreshing viewpoint!

3:28pm - Nancy: "Parenting is really flying by the seat of your pants." Totally rings of Melissa's keynote speech from this morning about "Just wing it."

3:22pm - Amazing statement from the previous panelist's husband: after 2 failed IVFs, they looked at their doctor and asked, "Why should we do this?" Their doctor's response: "Because one of those eggs could be your baby." And one of those eggs became their daughter. He also spoke beautifully about how much he wanted to see his wife pregnant, to spoon in the middle of the night, feel that big round belly and feel the baby move. "There's nothing like that in the world." First of all, totally never expected to hear this from a guy, so well said. Secondly - wow. Just... wow. It's so relieving to hear someone else express the desire to be a part of that pregnancy experience, as either mother or father. Just beautiful and really moving - lots of sniffles behind me in the audience.

3:13pm - Another panelist shares the very painful recollection of when her RE told her that she was not a candidate for IVF because of her age, despite being otherwise healthy. "It was a long process to try to work through that." She discusses weighing adoption vs. egg donation and went through the loss. Ultimately, the decision for egg donor won because experiencing the pregnancy was important to she and her husband, as well as having control over the health of the child as opposed to the lack of control over maternal health via adoption. Man, this is really stirring up some emotions for me. I hate the idea of feeling selfish for wanting to experience pregnancy.

3:08pm - Awesome comment from one of the parent panelists: when she was telling her 11 year old son that she was speaking at the conference today about donor egg and donor sperm, he told her: "You should bring me in as an example, mom!"

3:05pm - Nancy Docktor and Lynn Nichols, both consultants (private practice and BostonIVF respectively) open things up with our panel of parents who have been through donor gametes.

2:59pm - Waiting for Donor Egg & Donor Sperm: Asking the Tough Questions to begin. Interestingly enough, after talking with Larry today... if we had the chance to conceive with my eggs, we'd go for it. This opens up an interesting can of worms for later, but I'll get into that in a separate post.

2:02pm - Taking a break from the sessions to check out the exhibitors. Lots of candy to give away, as well as neat swag (props to Harvard Vanguard for the pillbox keychain!) and of course, tons of great information. Also great to see Joanne from Circle+Bloom. And I had a wonderful conversation with Davina - apparently she LOVES her doc... who just happens to be the person I'm seeing next week for my second opinion. Very comforting to talk with her about her experience, as I'm nervous about the possibilities.

1:07pm - So... I just got a Volunteer Award. Um, seriously not expecting this and TOTALLY flattered and humbled. Thanks RNE ladies! Y'all rock! (And props to Lee Collins, Terri Davidson, Amy Demma, and Sandy O'Keefe for their Volunteer Awards as well!)

12:57pm - RNE Board Member and Advocacy Director Davina Fankhauser is giving out RNE's Advocacy Awards to our corporate sponsors who helped to get the Infertility Mandate updated in MA. Recipients (in alpha order): BostonIVF, Brigham & Women's, Mass General Hospital, Reproductive Science Center (and specifically Dr. Samuel Peng), and Village Pharmacy. Davina has also announced a celebration of Family Building legislation at the MA State House on Wednesday, Dec. 15th from 2-3pm.

12:15pm - Really informative session. Learned a lot about the legality and the ways in which embryo donation programs vary throughout the country. Now, time for lunch! My tummy is a rumblin'.

11:58am - Susan: Virtually all states have statutes regarding sperm donation: children created through donor sperm are the children of the recipient couple. 9 states have statutes expanding this to include both egg and embryo donation. Sadly, MA is not one of these states. Only GA and FL have laws with specific terminology regarding embryo adoption. She recommends a "belt and suspenders" approach just to make sure that your family is protected by the law, and that means approaching a judge in those 41 other states and going through the procedure to adopt your own child. An almost absurd approach, but it's the safest and broadest protection to the legality of your family and ultimately, it's a bunch of paperwork more than it is from the traditional adoption approach.

11:49am - Amy: While it's legally complex, the legality should not be a deterrent if embryo donation is the right path to family building for you. Susan: Even with known donors, get a contract. Sometimes this can even be a screening tool if someone you know isn't willing to do a contract, this might send out a red flag for the eventual legality of your future family.

11:45am - Susan: Many couples who do IVF are willing to check off the "donate my leftover embryos" prior to achieving parenthood but often change their mind after the fact when they realize that there is the potential for their children to have genetically-related siblings out there in the world. A great discussion going on about consent.

11:40am - An overview of the process: 1) Find embryos. 2) Get them screened (look up IVF records, have donors and recipients screened). 3) Homestudy - are you suitable recipients per the standards of the donation agency? And those standards vary greatly across the map. 4) Medical protocol for the transfer itself. From a mental health professional in the audience: how much does the recipient family get to know about the donor? It varies from program to program. All of the donations that Amy has been a part of have been known. The point is raised that the mental health issues that face adoptive parents are nearly the same for embryo donation recipients.

11:33am - To the African-American woman earlier: don't be discouraged as there ARE options- there are donors and embryos to be found, but just requires some digging. Amy has some great resources to refer to her.

11:28am - Just learned about PGD (Pre-implantation genetic diagnosis). Mind. BLOWN. You can take 1 cell from an 8-cell embryo and run it through hundreds of genetic tests and then you can STILL grow a healthy embryo from the remaining 7 cells. WHUT.

11:25am - Interesting screening issue: donor couple needs to be screened, but if the embryo was conceived using donor gametes, then those donors need to be screened. This of course, varies by clinic, but an important point to consider.

11:21am - "The first place you should start looking for embryo donation programs is with your own clinic." - Amy Demma. The list she started with just two years ago has grown extensively. A large portion of programs have been faith-based, but they have been expanding, as Amy's noted in a really fantastic handout packet.

11:13am - Important distinction: embryo donation is the proper term as legally, embryo "adoption" means that you don't have legal ownership of the child you've carried for 9 months until 4 days after its born (in MA, at least). A small distinction, but a legally important one. Terminology, as I've been learning in our IF journey, is vitally important. Other key definition: embryo donation is a frozen egg that has been fertilized. From a personal perspective, it's where adoption and donor egg/sperm meet. Neat.

11:07am - Survey of the room: some MA couples, 2 folks from NY, and 1 couple from NH. Important to know since laws vary from state to state. Speakers are lawyers Susan Cocklin and Amy Demma, both area lawyers specializing in infertility law.

10:57am - Waiting for the Embryo Donation session to start. Looking forward to getting some more information about a subject about which I don't really have much knowledge. Interesting side-conversation overhead: an African-American woman expresses concerns that her clinic does have embryo donation, but no African-American embryos. A point I would have never considered; even though I'm half-Japanese, I have the luxury of being able to "pass" as "white." That's why ladies like Broken Brown Egg are a vital voice in this community: the African-American perspective on infertility is often forgotten about. Whoa, got off topic here. More updates soon with the latest info re: embryo donation.


10:34am - See! I met Melissa. Here's photographic evidence :) Also, what a great conversation - everything from blogging and book writing to "the ribbon cross lady on the plane." Oh, I do hope she blogs about her b/c that was a hysterical story. Time to head off to the volunteer table - first volunteer assignment of the day coming up: being room monitor for the Embryo Donation session.

10:04am - Chatting with Melissa Ford. She is one cool lady! Discussing the virtues of self-hosting my blog.

9:07am - My husband just called me the "Infertility Engadget" with this liveblog. I'm touched and flattered. Also, the conference Twitter hashtag is #RNE10.

9:04am - Q: Is there a clearinghouse of correct information? A: Go with your gut. Case in point? The multiple times Melissa has received advice to rub yam cream on herself. Yam cream?! Wow. She also addresses the Robutussin lore: may not be scientifically backed up, but we hear about it everywhere. Ultimately? Take it back to your doctor.

8:59am - Exciting! We're opening up for question & answers. Q: Are their blogs for men? Sure ARE! (Looking for them? You can check out some of them here under "The Elusive Male Point of View."). Oh, PS? We need more male voices out there.

Q: "Can you blog anonymously?" A: Absolutely - and if you do choose to reveal your identity, great advice - don't name your doctor, don't name your clinic. (Note to self: I'm going to go back and delete some stuff.) Referencing the Justin Long fiasco. You can also "come out" on your own terms, and when you're ready.

8:54am - "Go online and find your virtual tribe." Great point about the ways in which we seek support. "Go home and start a blog." Wow, so true - that's exactly how I got started, and I know so many of you did too! Shoutout for the ALI Blogroll. "And while support won't cure infertility, it will give you refuge."

8:53am - "The only way out of infertility is through infertility."

8:52am - Best advice for life, received from her dear friend Carla when Melissa forgot the notes to her first book reading: "Just wing it." Life doesn't always go according to plan, and that pausing from life isn't an option. Don't stop living - we can't let infertility take away from living our lives. "Just wing it" is the anti-"just relax."

8:48am - "When the losses are that small that they can be hidden, what right do I have to mourn deeply?" Melissa reflects about the loss of Politics and Prose owner, Carla Cohen and ties it back to the journey of infertility. How do you share a silent experience with others?

8:45am - "Infertility: the news never comes at a good time." Um, truth sister. Sing it, Melissa!

8:41am - Lots of conference raffles... exciting! Also, here comes keynote speaker, Melissa Ford!

8:32am - Been here for a few minutes now, finally connected to the hotel WiFi AND I just met the Stirrup Queen herself, Melissa Ford! Exciting. Also, as far as I've heard - we're officially over the number of pre-registered attendees from last year... final numbers at the end of the day once we figure in walk-in attendees. Considering purchasing a 2nd copy of her book for her to sign since we still haven't unpacked our (21) boxes of books yet. Oops. Ahah, here come Rebecca Lubens, Executive Director of RESOLVE of New England and Melissa Ford... and here we go!

6:46am - And we're off! On the road to the Conference. Hope to arrive just past 8am.

Conference Tomorrow!

Woot! Annual Conference time.

I am WAY late to posting this today... took a sick day (serious tummy troubles) so I'm finally up and productive, now that I have to go to bed in an hour to get up early for the RESOLVE of New England Fertility Treatment, Donor Choices, and Adoption Conference tomorrow!

I'll be liveblogging the event tomorrow at the RNE Conference Tumblr blog here. I'll also try to do a liveblog post here. You'll have to hit F5/Refresh the main page here to see the latest post updates; I'll make sure to keep them at the top of the page. I'll also be posting on Twitter- make sure to follow me @miriamshope!

Sunday, expect a full detailed recap of Saturday's conference.

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Other updates:

+ Walk-ins welcome for tomorrow's conference! Click for more info about the RESOLVE of New England Fertility Treatment, Donor Choices, and Adoption Conference! The Stirrup Queen herself, Melissa Ford, will be our keynote speaker!

+ Have you donated to my Fertile Fall Fundraiser yet? I've only raised $10 so far, and I've got $1990 to go! Who wants to help out this important cause?

NaBloPoMo: And so it begins.

30 posts. 30 days. It's NaBloPoMo time, people: National Blog Posting Month.

I think it's time to build off of my 7 posts in 7 days bit and move to something more advanced. I know I wrote recently that I should man up and do NaNoWriMo (also starting today) but I just don't have the energy. But blogging? Blogging for 30 days? I can do that. This is more attainable. I have to work my way up to NaNoWriMo.

If you don't feel like joining the official NaBloPoMo ranks, Suzy over at Not a Fertile Myrtle has a great blogroll of other NaBloPoMo participating IF bloggers up for the challenge. Check it out - let's keep each other motivated! More updates/news and a question after the cut.

Other updates in my life...

Tonight I'm being interviewed by Isadora Leidenfrost for her forthcoming film, Things We Don't Talk About. From her film website:

Things We Don’t Talk About is a groundbreaking documentary film about women’s healing narratives from the red rent that serves to empower women and girls. The Red Tent is a red textile space that is changing the way that women think about their bodies.

Tomorrow night, Isadora will be filming the Salem Red Tent Temple. I'm so excited! The Red Tent Temple has been such a joy in my life. When I stopped having periods, I missed my Woman's Blood Rhythm. Now that I meet near each new moon with other women in all stages of life and Blood Rhythm, it has brought that sense of monthly cycle back. I can't wait to talk and explore more about this with Isadora tonight.

Just had another thyroid panel done. I've had brain fog like whoa and my energy is pretty much non-existent. I'm starting to feel like I did in June/July of 2009, when my TSH was at its highest and thus my thyroid function at its lowest. Well, don't know what's going on then b/c my numbers came back normal: TSH is 1.027. I need to find a good endocrinologist up in the North Shore area. Anyone have any recommendations for a good North Shore, MA area endo?

And finally, it's just 5 days until the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference! You can still register in advance. Come check out dozens of vendors, doctors, and other patients, and meet the Infertility Blogging Goddess, Melissa Ford, author of Stirrup Queens! Also, we have some pretty awesome raffles. I can't wait to meet folks there :)

Oh, and one other thing: my Fertile Fall Fundraiser is underway, so if you have a few dollars to spare, I'd love it if you could help out this special cause: $2000 for RESOLVE of New England by Christmas. We can totally make that goal with your help!

Happy blogging all.

1 post down. 29 to go.

PS. Get off your butts and VOTE tomorrow! (I don't care for whom you vote, just vote dagnabit!)

A Fertile Fall Fundraiser!

Next Saturday is RESOLVE of New England's Annual Family Building Conference (full conference details here online). In the spirit of the Conference and also in my comittment to the organization, I'd like to host my first fundraiser for them: My Fertile Fall Fundraiser!




Here's how you can donate:

> Go to my Facebook Page, Keiko Zoll: Infertility Advocate, and donate via the FundRazr widget.

My goal is to raise $2,000 by December 30, 2010.

$2,000 may sound like a lot, but let's break that down...

$2,000 equals...
+ 20 people willing to donate $100 each;
+ 40 people willing to donate just $50 each;
+ 200 people who are willing to donate just $10 each!

For the cost of two tickets to a concert, the cost of a nice haircut with blowdry and style, or even the cost of brunch at your favorite mom and pop restaurant: you can make a contribution to help thousands of couples struggling with infertility in the New England region and help support an organization that's near and dear to my heart :)

In full disclosure, the money will be donated directly to my PayPal account. The only reason I'm not asking for donations directly to RNE is because my husband's company will match charitable contributions... so that means, if I meet my $2,000 goal, I'll actually be making a contribution of $4,000 to RESOLVE of New England!

Again in full disclosure: since your donation is made to me, it is not considered tax deductible. RESOLVE of New England is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and your contributions are tax deductible only when you make a contribution directly to them. If you'd like to donate directly to RNE, please click here, but before you do, check to see if your employer or your partner's employer has a charitable matching program. That way, even though you'll get the tax write-off, we won't lose out on the ability to match your donation, even if it's through a different company.

Please consider making your contribution today, whether you do it for yourself, a loved one, or if you've conquered your infertility... do it for your children! It's a great way to celebrate your victory.

I'm pretty confident I can hit this $2,000 goal, even with 200 people at just 10 bucks a pop... let's see how fast we can do it!

RESOLVE-ing to make a difference

I'm so excited that the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference is in just a few weeks from now! It's amazing to me that last year, Larry and I walked in, wide-eyed, overwhelmed, and still trying to make sense of this daunting path known as infertility.

This year, I'm walking in as a volunteer and Board of Directors member, and Larry's walking in right back with me, also as a volunteer. I talk a little more about my experiences at the Annual Conference blog here and why I'm coming back this year.

I'm also officially inviting every single reader of this blog- no matter where you live- to attend this year's Annual Conference on November 6, 2010 in Marlborough, MA. I know the cost can seem like a lot, but scholarships are available. I should know: it was the only way Larry and I could afford to go last year. I'm telling you: it's totally worth it to attend this conference, if not for the vast array of information, resources, and people you'll meet, but for the sense of hope you'll walk away with at the end of the day.

7 Reasons Why You Should Come to the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference:
1. Our keynote speaker is Melissa Ford, the ever-fabulous and award-winning author of Stirrup Queens. I'm kind of peeing my pants over the opportunity to meet her in person.

2. Plenty of information if you're considering adoption. The Annual Conference features an adoption track of sessions, including an adoptive and birth parent panel.

3. Plenty of information about IVF and donor egg. Again, a track just for donor egg sessions. We found these programs particularly informative and helpful last year.

4. Consumer access to area vendors. Clinics, adoption agencies, donor egg matching services, pharmacies that specialize in fertility drugs... there are a ton of vendors for you to connect with one-on-one. Whether you're a consumer or an industry professional, it's a great chance to network and gather resources.

5. Raffles! Because who doesn't love a good raffle?

6. New: Ask the Experts panels. Whether you've got questions about adoption, donor egg, your wonky ovaries, your wonky husband, we have a whole series of experts lined up ready to answer your questions from Reproductive Endocrinology, Acupuncture, Men's Perspectives, Nutrition, and more!

7. Come meet me! Not that I'm any kind of main attraction, but it would be awesome to meet some of you fabulous readers and followers IRL.

...So?

What are you waiting for? Register today. And if you are going, please do let me know in the comments - I'd love to meet up and grab lunch together during the Conference!

Night of Hope Recap

Night of Hope was simply amazing. Held at the very swanky Guastavino's in New York City on Tuesday, September 28, RESOLVE put on one classy gala celebration. Here are my pics from the night.

The lady in red? That's me. That classy lookin' guy in the suit? That's Larry. The fancy lookin' lady in the black pantsuit? My mom Debbie :) And the two other women holding awards in that picture with me? Those would be (from left) Best Blog winner Julie Robichaux, aka, A Little Pregnant and Best Book winner Pamela Tsigdinos, author of Silent Sorority. Oh! And my 1 pic with a celeb: Alisyn Camerota from FOX and Friends Weekend was the emcee for the evening. All the rest of the details after the cut.

Larry and I left bright and early Tuesday morning after making a quick pitstop to Target so I could pick up an evening bag - a girl's gotta have a complete ensemble! We made it to Brooklyn by lunchtime and met up with a friend of ours and had lunch at the famous/omgdelicious Junior's Deli. They are apparently famous for their cheesecake, but sadly, we didn't sample a slice as we were running short on time and we wanted to save room for dinner (more on that deliciousness later). It was great to catch up with Jen who we hadn't seen since her wedding last year and then we were off into the wilds of NYC streets to get to our hotel.

We stayed at the Marriott East Side, made possible only by cashing in all of Larry's Marriott points. It's basically across the street from the Waldorf Astoria, so you can probably guess as to what a nightly rate might be there. We were given the option of a queen bed on a high floor or a king bed on a lower floor. We thought "higher floor, better view" but instead we were looking at the back of the building and thought, hm, let's splurge for that king room. (Oh we were TOTALLY those guests that went up to the first room and changed our minds.) So as we're waiting for a bellhop to key us into our new room, we notice there's a lot of activity on this new floor. When the bellhop lets us in, he says, "I hope you don't mind the Secret Service guy on the terrace next to your room."

Turns out, Vice President Biden was staying in our hotel for the UN Conference this week. That would explain the unusually large amount of NYPD around the hotel and those guys in suits with ear-pieces in the lobby. And yes, there was a guy on the terrace ledge next to our room scoping out everything. Larry has been on a 24 kick lately so he was all like, "It's just like Jack Bauer!" and I replied "Well, Jack Bauer doesn't need to see me get dressed," and I shut the shade. We then made jokes about the no-fly list and bugs in our room as I hustled to get ready.

What I have failed to mention is that I still hadn't finished writing my speech. I had written a draft in the car that Larry thought was nice, but once we were in the hotel and I read it aloud again, this time without the distraction of the radio and traffic, we both realized it was crap and I had to rewrite it. It was 4pm. The event started at 6pm.

Larry insisted that I not memorize it but I was too rushed to try and write the whole thing down, so I ended up typing it as a doc on my iPhone. I know, I know - nerd. I own up to that. Before we left I raised the shade and the Secret Service guy was gone, like a whisper in the night. Cool... and admittedly creepy too.

Then we rushed to get a cab at 4:30 because I figured there would be road closures and rush hour traffic and... we got to Guastavino's in about 10 minutes. I didn't have to be there until 5:20. I proceded to walk around the block practicing my speech and trying to calm my nerves. Finally, at 5pm we went in. When I checked in, I had a lovely bouquet of roses waiting for me from Dr. Lawrence Nelson. He and I have been in touch the last few months and he was scheduled to attend but couldn't at the last minute. It was a really sweet gesture. I was greeted right away by people who knew me by face from my video and as I walked around, I realized that more people there would know me from my video than I would know them... it was a very strange realization and I suddenly felt like I was under a microscope.

As effervescent as I can appear to be in public, it can still be a challenge to mix and mingle for me, especially where the ratio of personal recognition did not favor me in the least. Suddenly, I got VERY nervous for the rest of the night.

I was relieved then, after a quick walkthrough of the stage area upstairs, to see my mom standing with Larry when I came back downstairs. She looked radiant! We got ourselves some cocktails and had a seat. As more folks came in, I said hi to colleagues and finally got to meet several people I had only met online or over the phone - it was great to finally meet these folks in person (like Julie & Pamela). I even managed to stumble a very awkward hello and introduction to Sherri Shepherd, one of the hostesses of The View who was there to accept the Hope Award for Achievement on their behalf that evening. (Her speech, by the way, was hysterical and poignant: "We didn't have insurance so we put the whole IVF cycle on our Amex. Now we have like, 400,000 Sky Miles thanks to our son!")

The evening got underway with a special video message from Guiliana and Bill Rancic as they couldn't be present to accept their award. I had no clue who they were (and still kind of don't because I never watched The Apprentice or E! News) until I looked them up on my phone that night. But apparently, they have a new reality show debuting next Monday on the Style Network that chronicles both their relationship and their infertility journey. In fact, I just watched the teaser trailer online and now I'm all teary-eyed! It looks to be the kind of awareness-building show our community needs right now.

Dinner was delish: flat-iron steak, grilled asparagus, stuffed potatoes, and a delicious salad. And of course: wine. I had to slow down on the cocktails because I hadn't eaten too much and I didn't want to be sloshed when I went to accept my award. (Although, it certainly helped calm my nerves.) At the last minute, I decided to write out my speech and began frantically copying it onto the back of my logistics sheet with the awards order and room layout guide I got when I checked in. Then, it was go time.

I got up one award before mine and waited in the holding area. Jeff Silsbee, Marketing Leader for Merck Pharmaceuticals, would do my introduction. We had a minute to chat before going up and he said it was great to meet me in person after seeing my video. During his intro speech, he mentioned that his team at Merck was very moved by seeing my video. I was floored. I had no idea it had been seen by the Fertility Marketing team of a major pharmaceutical company. They showed a 60 second clip of my video and it was so strange to see a) the video and b) myself on the big screen (two big screens actually). I felt like someone unleashed a whole net of butterflies into my stomach and throat as I was called up to the stage.

Click here to see the full video of my entire award acceptance, including my speech.

The whole 7 minutes from introduction until I came down from the stage felt like a blink. Before I knew it, I was back in my seat hugging my mom and kissing Larry. Afterward we headed to the dessert reception, where I barely ate as person after person came up to me to bestow congratulations and compliments. I am certainly grateful for all of the well wishes; I was just very overwhelmed and VERY out of my element. Thank G-d for Larry- he's a schmoozer by nature- so he helped me work the room and reminded me to hand out my business cards. I got to talk more at length with Jeff; I met Jennifer Redmond of Fertility Authority and we chatted about my possibly writing for them soon; Preya Shivdat, founder of Fertile Dreams, a grant-giving non-profit for couples struggling with IF; and had a very interesting conversation with Dr. Ali Domar of the Domar Mind/Body Center - she's inspired me to seek a second opinion of my diagnosis; I met fellow awardees Renee Whitley and Lee Rubin Collins, both very inspiring women who take advocacy to its highest levels in the US.

I'm sure there were lots and lots more fantastic people that I met, but honestly, the night was such a blur it's hard to remember everyone. If we did meet and forgot to exchange cards, please do feel free to email me, find me on Facebook or Twitter. All those handy links are on my sidebars.

In all, it was a simply gala evening and I enjoyed myself immensely. Thank you so much to RESOLVE for hosting such a wonderful event and for this incredible honor you've bestowed on me. Now I have a very pretty (and very heavy!) crystal award vase to proudly display on one of the four hearths we have in our new home.

...Although, as Julie and I were joking, we might use them for snack storage. Yanno, just eat some M&Ms out of it from time to time.

Larry is convinced Night of Hope is my tipping point. Tipping into what... I'm not sure yet. But I hope it's toward big opportunities, a chance to raise awareness and to continue my advocacy, and hopefully, somewhere soon down this path - towards building our family.

Video Clip: Night of Hope

Night of Hope was simply amazing. I'll have a more detailed post in the next couple of days, but here is the footage of me accepting the Hope Award for Best Viral Video last night.


Keiko Zoll at Night of Hope 2010 from Keiko Zoll on Vimeo.

More details and pics soon - promise! Congrats again to all of the awardees and thank you again RESOLVE, for this incredible honor.

Gearing Up for Night of Hope

Night of Hope is tomorrow night, sponsored by RESOLVE. I've got the dress. I've got the shoes. And more importantly, I've got the Award (well, at least on paper - no plaque yet).

Then why do I feel so woefully unprepared for tomorrow night? Why am I so nervous?

I've always been a pretty confident public speaker, extemporaneous or prepared. If I need to get up and do a dog and pony show for people, I'm your gal. I make it happen. Hell, I've got a beauty title and a perfomance at Carnegie Hall under my belt - all before the age of 18. In an alternate universe, Keiko Zoll is a world-reknowned opera star. Needless to say, I don't really have a problem getting up in front of people.

For tomorrow night, I've got a minute and a half to say any remarks once I receive my award. I've known since July that I received this award. And yet... I still haven't written an acceptance speech. Why is this so hard? Why am I so petrified about tomorrow night?

There is the chance for celebs to be there, true- Night of Hope is being emcee'd by Fox and Friends Weekend Anchor, Alisyn Camerota amd The View has been awarded The Hope Award for Achievement. Could I be hobnobbing with Barbara Walters? Maybe... I don't know! But the possibility both thrills and terrifies me.

Me, who's performed five times in "The Vagina Monologues," talking about lady bits in front of complete strangers - is nervous about possibly bumping into the ladies of The View.

I'm excited, don't get me wrong. A whirlwind 48 hours staying in a ritzy Manhattan hotel (hooray for Larry's Marriott points!) and spending the day with my mom. Getting all dolled up. And oh, receiving the Hope Award for Best Viral Video. It's been a slow day at work today and I've had a hard time concentrating because I am so excited. And I'm nervous too. It's getting down to the wire and I really need to write my acceptance speech.

But before I say anything tomorrow night:

Thank you - each and every one of you who read my blog, who watched my video, who forwarded it to their friends and colleagues and sisters and daughters and friends, who posted it to Facebook, your blog, Twitter, and all those corners of the internet.

I could have never won a Viral Video Award if it didn't go viral, and I have every single person who hit play to thank for that.

Thank you for watching, reading, advocating, sharing, and above all else:

Thanks for not giving up hope.

I'll be tweeting and prolly twitpic-ing my way through the event tomorrow, so make sure to follow @miriamshope for a little live-tweeting throughout the night. And if I meet any celebs, you better believe there will be pics! You can also check out other live-tweeters by following #nightofhope.

It's going to be a great night and even though I'm nervous, I can't wait. Wish me luck folks.

Holy OMNOMNOM-ing

Welcome to another ICLW! I've been missing from the blogosphere recently and I thought that ICLW was just what I needed to get back into the virtual swing of things. Past ICLW intros can be found linked here, but to give you the quick rundown:

• I'm 28 with POF. Hoping to pursue domestic infant adoption with my husband Larry in the next 3-5 years.
• Just bought our first house! Also, had our first (hopefully only) fire. Homeownership is full of adventure, I'm quickly learning.
• Recently featured in Tablet Magazine last month for an article about infertility and reconciling Jewish faith.
• Getting awarded next Tuesday night in NYC at RESOLVE's Night of Hope Awards for Best Viral Video.

So there's the quick schpiel.

This has been a very contemplative start to the Jewish New Year for me. While I don't think our fire was any kind of punishment from G-d, it certainly was a wake-up call. The takeaway message I got from all of this: we have a new home. It's time to really start living Jewishly.

It's time to find a shul. It's time to really start observing Shabbos, perhaps rising to the call of the Sabbath Manifesto, as we were called to do at Yom Kippur services this year. It's a neat concept that Larry particularly finds intriguing that I could get behind too.

For me? On a more personal way of being Jewish? Sanctifying the ordinary, most basic everyday act: saying the blessings before food. If I won't keep kosher (because I'm sorry, bacon cheeseburgers and lobster are too delicious for a foodie to give up entirely) then I can at least make the act of eating holy.

I'll be honest. This is not easy; there isn't one catch-all blessing I can say. There's a blessing for bread (ha-motzi lechem min ha'aretz) but a different one for pasta and crackers (borey miney mezunot). And you say one blessing for grapes and wine (fruit of the vine), one for apples, pears and the like (fruit of the tree), and another entirely for most veggies and contradictingly enough, bananas (fruit of the earth).

But I do it because it forces me to give pause before I eat, to be thankful for daily sustenance, to sanctify the ordinary and to be mindful and take note of what I'm putting into my body. I've figured out that the more blessings I have to say, the more balanced my meal ^_^

And with that, it's time for lunch. Bon apetit and happy noshing.

My First Big Giveaway!

We've hit 200 posts, 200 followers, and 200 likes on Facebook. I think it's time for that long-promised giveaway! I'll be giving away five- yes, you read that right- five items for this giveaway! This is my way of saying thank you for sharing my work out there and being advocates in your own ways. I keep writing and doing this for y'all, so... thanks everyone. You all rock my socks ^_^

Kristen Magnacca, author of Love and Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage, and Life, has generously offered one copy of her CD version of her book for this giveaway. Love and Infertility was honored with RESOLVE's inaugural Hope Award for Best Book last year at their Night of Hope. Her book is a wonderful resource to infertile couples, as described on her website:

Love and Infertility focuses on the importance of sharing and communicating so that a couple can move successfully through infertility without the stress of becoming all-encompassing and overwhelming. With honest humor and candid personal accounts, Kristen reveals tips, exercises, and rare bits of wisdom to guide couples through the hardships of infertility.

Joanne and Susan, the fabulous ladies behind Circle+Bloom, have generously donated one program of the winner's choice from their website! I personally have used their Energy for Empowerment program and I can't praise their products highly enough. From Joanne's soothing voice to the soul-stirring sense of body empowerment, Circle+Bloom is really the first product of its kind that specifically compliments each phase of a woman's cycle, whether she's trying to conceive naturally or through IVF/IUI, or simply trying to maintain a healthy pregnancy. Circle+Bloom is a truly innovative resource for all stages of your journey with a long list of testimonials to back it up, including:

“Circle+Bloom is a very important tool in the fertility kit. The Circle+Bloom audio mind-body program perfectly provides the support I need each day of my fertility journey. The audio meditations and visualizations so well-researched and well-crafted that I recommend it to every friend trying to conceive.” - Donna, via email.

Find out what three other goodies I'll have in this giveaway and how you can enter behind the cut!

Five (5) Fabulous Prizes Up For Grabs

1. Love and Infertility CD

2. Circle+Bloom Program of Your Choice

3. A pair of my handmade pomegranate earrings that I made for 200th Facebook follower, SomedayBabyT:

4. One very gently read copy of The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. If you're exploring Traditional Chinese Medicine as an avenue in your journey, this is THE book:

5. A 15"x15" unframed print of Tranquility by artist Alida Saxon, as featured in my June ICLW intro post:

How to Enter
There are ten (10) possible ways you can enter to increase your chances of winning, as described below:

+ 1 entry = Leave a comment on this post. You may comment as many times as you like, but only your first comment will count for a total of 1 entry.

+ 1 entry = Post the following tweet: "I've entered to win some neat prizes @miriamshope's first giveaway, have you? Details here: http://bit.ly/9r6aup" You may retweet as many times as you like, but only your first tweet will count for a total of 1 entry.

+ 1 entry = Leave a comment on the Giveaway thread at my Facebook page. You may comment as many times as you like, but only your first comment will count for a total of 1 entry.

+ 1 entry = Become a follower of this blog. If you already are a follower of this blog, please mention that in your comment to this post with however your follower name is displayed.

+ 1 entry = Become a follower of my Facebook page. If you already are a follower of my FB page, please mention that in your comment to the Giveaway thread on my FB page.

+ 1 entry = Follow me on Twitter @miriamshope. If you already follow me on Twitter, please mention that in your comment to this post with your Twitter handle.

+ 4 entries = Write a blog post about this giveaway. That's right, this will earn you multiple entries! Your post must include my name (Keiko Zoll), my blog title (Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed) and a link to this post (http://hannahweptsarahlaughed.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-first-big-giveaway.html). Once you post it, you can comment here, tweet me, or leave a comment on my FB page with a link to your post.

Deadline to Enter
All entries must be received by 11:59pm EDT on Tuesday, August 31, 2010. That means all your tweets, comments, blog posts, and follower statuses must be made by that time. Five (5) individual and separate winners will be selected at random using Random.org sometime between September 1 and September 5, 2010. That means, once a winner has been picked for one prize, their name will be removed from selection of all other subsequent prizes. (I wanna spread the love here.) Winners will be announced on my blog sometime the week of September 6, 2010.

Good luck!

When advocacy pays off

Photo by Keiko Zoll.

...it feels GREAT.

It's a great morning for Massachusetts. At the eleventh hour on the last day of legislative session, the Massachusetts infertility mandate update was passed favorably out of committee, and then passed the House and Senate! All we need now is Governor Patrick's signature and the update becomes law; there is no reason he wouldn't and he is expected to do so. We did it! The Massachusetts infertility mandate has not only been preserved, but updated to provide even broader standards of coverage that will help thousands of women in this state.

The updates to the law will be as follows:

"...Of the General Laws, as appearing in the 2008 Official Edition, is hereby amended by striking out the last sentence and inserting in place thereof the following 2 sentences:- For purposes of this section, ‘infertility’ shall mean the condition of an individual who is unable to conceive or produce conception during a period of 1 year if the female is age 35 or younger or during a period of 6 months if the female is over the age of 35. For purposes of meeting the criteria for infertility in this section, if a person conceives but is unable to carry that pregnancy to live birth, the period of time she attempted to conceive prior to achieving that pregnancy shall be included in the calculation of the 1 year or 6 month period, as applicable."

The loophole of continual denial of coverage for women over 35 who experience recurrent miscarriage will be closed. The Massachusetts infertility mandate, which leads the nation in its coverage, will now finally be in line with current ASRM guidelines and standards.

It took more than just our legislators to make this happen: it's folks like us all over the state who wrote emails, letters, and called their legislators. It's amazingly tireless women like Davina Fankhauser, RESOLVE of New England's Advocacy Director, who met with legislators and lobbied at the State House, who knows MA law inside and out. It's women like RESOLVE of New England's Advocacy Committee (Lee Collins, Sandy O’Keefe, Terri Davidson, and Amy Demma) who kept our members in the loop and prompted us when our action as constituents was needed. It's the friends of mine who had connections to folks on the Senate Ways and Means Committee and in the State House (shout outs to Claire and Deirdre!). And it's everyone who spread the word through Twitter, Facebook, and their blogs. Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone that helped this important piece of legislation makes it way into law!

Change can happen when we come together as a community. And damn if it doesn't feel awesome when we do.

A Belly Full of Fire, Part Five: Millions of voices calling for change

This is the fifth and final post of my five-part series on infertility advocacy. Catch up on Part One: Advocate or Abdicate, Part Two: The Wounded Healer, Part Three: Which Direction Do We Swim?, and Part Four: In a Perfect World.

PS: I'm also just over a dozen people shy of 200 followers to this blog. Once I hit 200, I'll do my first giveaway! Click here to follow my blog.

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"We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change."
- Barack Obama (NH Primary Concession Speech, 2008)

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
- Maria Robinson

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A Belly Full of Fire, Part Five: Millions of voices calling for change

You've felt the fire burning in your belly. You've taken the pledge. You've seen how advocacy can be a source of healing. You've considered the possibility of being a part of a movement, whether you're the lone nut or the first follower. And for a few moments, you could picture why all this hard work is totally worth it.

So... now what?

Reader StolenEggs (aka Fox in the Henhouse) made a great comment on Monday's post about up/downstream approaches to advocacy:

But I wonder how many people are actually a little like deer caught in headlights wondering, "Which way do I go?" In the end they are neither upstream nor down because they are frozen due to the sheer enormity of the situation.

I can totally respect that: Rome wasn't built in a day, throwing starfish back into the sea and all that. Raising awareness and advocating for infertility isn't something you can successfully accomplish in one day. Hell, it might not even be something we can successfully accomplish in a lifetime... but we can try.

My hope is that this series has stirred something within you, inspired you, fueled that fire in your belly. I can't tell you exactly how you can advocate for infertility: everyone finds their own path. Only you know how comfortable you are, what boundaries you are willing to push within yourself, how far you are willing to go.

...but of course I'm not going to abandon you after four posts and leave you with "Go west, young advocate!" I can give you a little nudge on some brainstorming. But the rest is up to you.

Like the post about upstream/downstream work, there's a lot you can do on both the small and larger scales, and even in between. It all depends on your comfort level and time commitment- and those of course can be fluid and change over time. Here are some ideas to get you started with becoming your own infertility advocate:

From the comfort of your living room, you can...

+ Utilize social media: Your blog, Twitter, Facebook... a lot of you are already doing this. Get your message out there. Keep it fresh, unique, engaging. Build readership and followership. Get yourself on blogrolls. Network. Check out my blogroll on the sidebar, or Mel's massive ALI blogroll over at Stirrup Queens to get started. If you're in New England, consider joining the New England Infertility Blogger Network.

+ Visit RESOLVE's website: Recently updated and full of resources. Go explore it and see what it has to offer, whether it's the Pledge, the Center for Infertility Justice, or Project IF - there are lots of great resources for you to get started on a national level in a "from the comfort of your own home" way.

+ Write letters to your legislators: Emailing is great, phone calls are nice too, but when legislators have to actually open a mailed letter, there's a greater chance your words will actually be seen by said legislator. For the cost of a postage stamp (lol, I sound like Sally Struthers) you too can advocate for infertility awareness. This is especially important for states with mandated coverage or those who have pending legislation that threatens or supports infertility causes.

+ Email your friends, family, colleagues: A bit more daring, but just as effective. Tell them what you're going through. Ask for their support, whether emotionally or financially. I am still inspired by Willow at Write, Baby, Repeat, who wrote to her two cousins in April asking them if they'd be willing to donate their eggs. Talk about putting yourself out there. Even though they ultimately said no, what an act of bravery, of awareness building. A request like that doesn't stay locked in the corners of your brain- I'm sure her cousins will be much more sensitive, compassionate people for it. Even in such a small dynamic as one family, awareness is raised and advocacy happens. You have to start somewhere, right? And the ripples will spread out from there... her best friend agreed to donate her eggs two months later.

+ Donate money for infertility awareness/advocacy: I know it's hard to donate in a down economy. We've got a looming first-home purchase hanging over our heads, but I still try to find even a couple of bucks to throw to my important causes. I do it because I figure if I put enough good out into the Universe maybe it'll throw a little back at me. Also, check with your employer to see if they do employee matching for charitable donations. Tada! Double your contribution. Some organizations I'll pitch for your donation: RESOLVE, RESOLVE of New England, Parenthood For Me, and Rachel's Well.

+ Become an "armchair" philanthropist: Take it one step further... Try organizing your own fundraiser via your blog or FB or email. Set a goal. Set a timeline. Ask for donations. Maybe build in some incentives. Even if you only get $10 that's $10 more than you started with and $10 toward an important cause. Success isn't necessarily measured in the amount of what you can raise doing something like this but in the fact that you raised anything at all. Or join a fundraiser already in progress, like reader Sonja has for the A.M.S. Endometriosis Foundation Online Auction. Or how Busted Kate helped a grieving family with DuckFest. Or how Parenthood For Me started her own non-profit that gives grants for adoptive couples! Or how Mrs. Tiye over at Broken Brown Egg is helping to raise awareness about how infertility impacts the African-American community at her first A.H.A. Gala For Infertility Awareness in Chicago in September.

There are lots of bloggers out there who are finding ways to raise awareness, raise funds, and advocate for change. These are just the few I could think off the top of my head, but if you're a reader here and I've missed the amazing advocacy work you're doing such as fundraisers and other things, leave a comment and share with everyone else!

Lastly, I want to talk about Obama's quote above. (I try to keep my politics out of this blog aside from legislative advocacy as it relates to infertility and women's health.) I was WAY late on the will.i.am "Yes We Can" bandwagon, but when I first heard it, it moved me to tears. What's even more amazing is that the lyrics come directly from his concession speech from the New Hampshire primaries, when he lost to Hilary Clinton. It was a pretty big loss, but here we are, addressing him as Mr. President rather than Mr. Senator. I have always found this quote inspiring: even when he was knocked down, Obama still mustered up the strength to keep going. It's a lesson for life.

After 6,350 words devoted to infertility advocacy in this series, it all boils down to this:

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1. If we don't advocate for infertility awareness for ourselves, no one will do it for us. We need to step up to the plate as a community.

2. Advocacy serves as a proactive way to heal old wounds and regain a sense of control with a disease that seems to rob so much control from us.

3. Find a way to advocate in a way that feels comfortable to you. Fuel that fire in your belly. Then, when you're ready, push yourself one step further.

4. Remember that infertility advocacy is not a lost cause. Do this for yourself. Do it for your partner. Do it for the 7.3 million people in this country. Do it because it matters and for what all the possibilities of successful advocacy could be. Have hope.

5. Start your advocacy today, from the comfort of your own living room. Just do something and start right now. Commit to change. Be the change, as Gandhi would say.

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The time for silence surrounding infertility is over. The time for a positive, open dialogue is long overdue. The time has come for a million voices calling for change.

Will you be one of them?

Photo by Abe Novy via Flickr.

The Mass. Infertility Mandate Needs Your Help!

If you live in Massachusetts, you have it pretty lucky when it comes to infertility coverage (unless of course your employer is self-insured). Mass. leads the nation as the gold standard for infertility coverage, but it has built up over twenty years of tarnish on its outdated definition of infertility. As the mandate currently stands, women who experience recurrent miscarriage can be caught in a perpetual cycle of coverage denial because of a technical loophole. MA S. 485 seeks to update this definition and bring it inline with the current guidelines and definitions as issued by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. The bill is currently sitting in the Senate Ways and Means Committee and desperately needs your help to be passed favorably out of committee.

The best thing to help give this bill a boost is an aggressive email and phone campaign to the committee members. Legislators actually DO care about personal stories, so speaking up by sending them either an email or calling them is one of the most effective and simplest advocacy strategies you can do.

If you live in Mass., please take five minutes to read my latest Examiner article on 3 things you can do to help in just ten minutes.

Photo by Emmanuel Huybrechts via Flickr.

Exciting Announcement in the ALI Blogosphere!

Melissa Ford, author of Stirrup Queens and Navigating the Land of IF, will be the keynote speaker for RESOLVE of New England's Annual Conference in November!

I'm super excited to formally announce this- as a Board member, I've been sitting on the news for just about a week now ^_^

If you're in the New England area November 6, you should really check out the conference. Larry and I went last year and it was an amazing experience for us: tons of resources, lots of great information, and it's nice to be in a room of 200 people who totally understand every single thing you're going through emotionally.

Check out my Examiner article for all of the details here: Leading infertility blogger to speak at RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference.

Photo courtesy of Melissa Ford, taken by Mary Gardella of Love Life Images.

The New England Infertility Blogger Network

Do you live or are based in the New England region (Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut)?

Do you blog about infertility?

Pull up a seat: we need to connect.

This may look strikingly similar to a post I made last month recruiting Bay State IF Bloggers. The first task given to me as the newest member on the RESOLVE of New England Board of Directors is to start culling blogs to build a New England based infertility blogroll. So I'm ditching the Bay State IF Blog Network and expanding it to become the New England Infertility Blogger Network.

What kind of blogs would be included?

• Patients facing infertility or treatment or parenting after infertility
• Their spouses and partners
• Their friends and family members
• Physicians and nurses specializing in fertility treatment
• Fertility clinics or other organizations that blog about fertility

What are the benefits of this blogroll?

• Promotion and visibility with RESOLVE of New England
• The chance to network with other professionals, resources, and bloggers
• The possibility of a meetup or round table at the RESOLVE of New England Annual Conference
• For businesses and providers: increased online exposure and social media opportunities for the only consumer infertility conference in the New England region
• For the amateur blogger: add credibility with support and visibility from a local non-profit organization

A lot of the details are still being ironed out. For now, I'm in the information gathering stage, and simply trying to find and connect with whose out there right now. As of right now, you do not have to be a member of RESOLVE of New England to be included in this blogroll.

Interested in being a part of this project? Fill out this short survey at the bottom of this post!

Readers and followers: this is where I also need your help. I could do a little Googling, but that will only get me so far. I need you dear readers, to send me links to infertility blogs in the New England region. I need you to dig through your Twitter followers and Facebook friends and colleagues: who out there lives in New England and is blogging about infertility? I need comments and retweets and leads in that same viral spirit that brought over 20,000 pairs of eyeballs to my What IF video. The simplest way is to just link right back to this post directly so they can fill out the interest form below.

Thanks in advance for your help and I look forward to connecting with other infertility bloggers in the New England region!